When I worked as a medical intern in a local hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent.
It took me some time to understand that he had no insurance coverage.
One thing he had made clear was that he was a World War II veteran, so I had him transported to the Veteran's Administration hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.
The next day my patient was back, with a note from the VA: "Right war, wrong side."
[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]
today'sTHOT============================
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
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PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
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Thursday, May 23, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Prayers for the people of Moore, Oklahoma
Like many of you. Mary Jo and I have been watching the horrific pictures coming out of Moore, Oklahoma since this afternoon. Our hearts go out to those who lost loved ones. Life is such a precious gift. A single moment in time can change our lives forever. Give thanks and cherish every moment.
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
HUMOR TO SOOTHE THE SOUL: WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Brilliant answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms works at work and works at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. My mom says she don't do spare time.
2. Nothing. She pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
today'sTHOT============================
I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms works at work and works at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. My mom says she don't do spare time.
2. Nothing. She pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
today'sTHOT============================
I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Air Force Pilot Funny
My husband works in the fuels squadron at an Air Force base, and many of his co-workers complain about the superior attitude of the pilots.
One day the fuel guys decided to put things in perspective for the proud pilots. They all came to work wearing shirts inscribed, "Without fuel, pilots are pedestrians."
[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]
today'sTHOT============================
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
One day the fuel guys decided to put things in perspective for the proud pilots. They all came to work wearing shirts inscribed, "Without fuel, pilots are pedestrians."
[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]
today'sTHOT============================
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Pitino Names Horse For Luke Hancock
Final Four MOP Luke Hancock has joined Russ Smith, Gorgui Deng and Peyton Siva as a Louisville player with an extra special place in coach Rick Pitino’s heart, for he too now has a Pitino-owned horse named after him.
“Three Point Luke is the name of the new horse we just bought,” Pitino explained during a Monday press conference with reporters in advance of Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, in which a horse he co-owns (Santa Anita Derby winner Goldencents) will run. “I actually didn’t name it. [Trainer] Dennis O’Neill named it.”
Among the four Pitino-owned horses named for players — Russdiculous (Smith), Gorgui (Deng), Siva (Siva) and Three Point Luke (Hancock) — Hancock can definitely lay claim to the best name. Or at least one that sounds most like a horse.
“Three Point Luke is the name of the new horse we just bought,” Pitino explained during a Monday press conference with reporters in advance of Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, in which a horse he co-owns (Santa Anita Derby winner Goldencents) will run. “I actually didn’t name it. [Trainer] Dennis O’Neill named it.”
Among the four Pitino-owned horses named for players — Russdiculous (Smith), Gorgui (Deng), Siva (Siva) and Three Point Luke (Hancock) — Hancock can definitely lay claim to the best name. Or at least one that sounds most like a horse.
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