Best speeding excuse?

When asked by a young patrol officer, "Do you know you were speeding?"
This 83-year-ol d woman gave the young officer an ear to ear smile and stated:

"Yes, but .... I had to get there before I forgot where I was going."

The officer put his ticket book away and bid her good day.
That makes perfectly good sense to me.

Relish small pleasures

Tolerance...

http://www.quotes-positive.com/photos/keller-tolerance.jpg

A career funny

It's career day at school and the teacher instructs his students each to stand up, state their parents occupation, spell it and then tell what their parent would do if they were here today.

Little Rodney stands up and says, "My father is an accountant, A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-N-T, and if he were here today, he would help you balance your checkbook".

"Good Rodney." says the teacher, "How about you, Johnny?'"

Johnny stands up and says, "My father is an electrician, E-L-E-K-T, no, no, E-L-E-C-K-T no ....L-E-C-K- no....

The teacher interrupts, "never mind Johnny, sit down, how about you Vinnie?"

Vinnie stands up and says, "My dad's a bookie, that's B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he were here today he'd give you ten-to-one odds that there's no way Johnny's ever gonna spell electrician!"

[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]

today'sTHOT============================

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

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Peace

A prayer funny

Little Johnny and his family were having a Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house.

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started to eat right away.

"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer," said his mother.

"I don't need to," the boy replied.

"Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook."

[forwarded by Jerry Lambert]

today'sTHOT============================

Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?

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PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

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A Flying Funny

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a
major fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he
frantically called his home office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

Sure enough, when he arrived at the small rural airport, a plane was warming
up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go!
Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the
air.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make
three or four low level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a
photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with
great exasperation and impatience.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the flight
instructor?"

[forwarded by Frank Walton]

today'sTHOT============================

Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

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