A Veterans tribute with just a pack of cards and a beautiful ending.
h/t Barbara Harbolt
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Cold Cream Funny
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
Sunday, June 16, 2013
25 Things I Learned From My Dad
Life is a mystery. Don't try to figure it out, just enjoy it.
Often times, the quietest person in a group is the most interesting one.
Turn off the lights when you leave a room.
If you watch ants in a colony, you'll have answers to how humans can live cooperatively and peacefully.
It's easier start a war than it is to end it.
Laughter cures almost anything.
Fancy houses and new cars don't make the man or the woman.
Be on time.
Practice moderation in all things.
It's possible for plaids and checks to look good together.
Don't buy on credit.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Tolerate differences in all people.
Reading history can help us avoid mistakes.
Life is a circle. Just as space is curved, so is time. There is no beginning or end.
Always get a name when dealing with someone over the phone.
Loveable people are easy to love; it's the unloveable ones who need our love.
Never trust a turn signal.
It takes twice as long to do something wrong.
Ping Pong is a competitive sport.
Never litter.
Traveling is the best education.
Get along with your neighbors.
The Golden Rule is the only one that you have to remember.
Leave the world better than you found it.
h/t Elizabeth Schaff, Louisville
Often times, the quietest person in a group is the most interesting one.
Turn off the lights when you leave a room.
If you watch ants in a colony, you'll have answers to how humans can live cooperatively and peacefully.
It's easier start a war than it is to end it.
Laughter cures almost anything.
Fancy houses and new cars don't make the man or the woman.
Be on time.
Practice moderation in all things.
It's possible for plaids and checks to look good together.
Don't buy on credit.
No good deed goes unpunished.
Tolerate differences in all people.
Reading history can help us avoid mistakes.
Life is a circle. Just as space is curved, so is time. There is no beginning or end.
Always get a name when dealing with someone over the phone.
Loveable people are easy to love; it's the unloveable ones who need our love.
Never trust a turn signal.
It takes twice as long to do something wrong.
Ping Pong is a competitive sport.
Never litter.
Traveling is the best education.
Get along with your neighbors.
The Golden Rule is the only one that you have to remember.
Leave the world better than you found it.
h/t Elizabeth Schaff, Louisville
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Dentist Funny
One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "One Thousand Dollars," the dentist says.
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $700." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!"
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $400." "Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $100." "Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"
"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $700." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!"
"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $400." "Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."
"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $100." "Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"
Thursday, June 6, 2013
A Gossip Funny
The church gossip, and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being drunk after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She commented to George on a Sunday morning, in the company of many, that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of her house and left it there all night.
today'sTHOT============================
NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being drunk after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She commented to George on a Sunday morning, in the company of many, that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of her house and left it there all night.
today'sTHOT============================
NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
REFLECTIONS ON AGING
~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
~ Long ago when old men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
today'sTHOT============================
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
~ Long ago when old men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
today'sTHOT============================
Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
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