Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Update on my wife, Mary Jo

Hello, Everyone.

Mary Jo was released from the hospital today. Her immune system is very low because of last Friday's chemo treatment, but her doctor thought that she would be better off recovering at home than in the hospital.

This is only round one. She will have the same treatment five to seven more times 21 days apart.These treatments will be in her oncologist's office, unless her condition worsens.

Thanks for your prayers and concern for us during this difficult time.

If there is some change in her condition, I will be sure to let you know.

Deacon Gerry

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You Don't Know Jack...about Halloween

Fr. Jack Collins, CSP, hits the west village of New York city, asking those he encounters what they know about Halloween, the history and the Catholic holidays that follow it.





May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself...

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Monday, October 29, 2012

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child...

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A Refill Funny

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'!"

[forwarded by John Cumby]

today'sTHOT============================

Success is 10% inspiration, 90% last-minute changes.

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Friday, October 26, 2012

Update: Mary Jo's first chemo treatment

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My wife,Mary Jo, with her friend Linda with the bags of goodies hanging on the tree

Mary Jo had her first chemo treatment today. Everything went well. She did have some of the side effects expected from the most potent of the five chemo medicines. She has been pretty much out of it since they gave her a dose of Benadryl intravenenously to counter act some of the side effects from the chemo medicines. The nurse said what she had is much more potent than what you buy over the counter. Thanks for your prayers and support, Deacon Gerry

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You've got to have dreams to keep you going...

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THE SPARROW AT STARBUCKS

My wife, Mary Jo, starts chemo treatments today a great story and song that if I keep trusting Him and singing His songs, everything's gonna be OK. Keep us in your prayers. Deacon Gerry

The song that silenced the cappuccino machine

by John Thomas Oaks

It was chilly in Manhattan but warm inside the Starbucks shop on 51st Street and Broadway, just a skip up from Times Square. Early November weather in New York City holds only the slightest hint of the bitter chill of late December and January, but it's enough to send the masses crowding indoors to vie for available space and warmth.

For a musician, it's the most lucrative Starbucks location in the world, I'm told, and consequently, the tips can be substantial if you play your tunes right. Apparently, we were striking all the right chords that night, because our basket was almost overflowing.

It was a fun, low-pressure gig - I was playing keyboard and singing backup for my friend who also added rhythm with an arsenal of percussion instruments. We mostly did pop songs from the '40s to the '90s with a few original tunes thrown in. During our emotional rendition of the classic, "If You Don't Know Me by Now," I noticed a lady sitting in one of the lounge chairs across from me. She was swaying to the beat and singing along.

After the tune was over, she approached me. "I apologize for singing along on that song. Did it bother you?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "We love it when the audience joins in. Would you like to sing up front on the next selection?"

To my delight, she accepted my invitation.

"You choose," I said. "What are you in the mood to sing?"

"Well ... do you know any hymns?"

Hymns? This woman didn't know who she was dealing with. I cut my teeth on hymns. Before I was even born, I was going to church. I gave our guest singer a knowing look. "Name one."

"Oh, I don't know. There are so many good ones. You pick one."

"Okay," I replied. "How about 'His Eye is on the Sparrow'?"

My new friend was silent, her eyes averted. Then she fixed her eyes on mine again and said, "Yeah. Let's do that one."

She slowly nodded her head, put down her purse, straightened her jacket and faced the center of the shop. With my two-bar setup, she began to sing.

"Why should I be discouraged?
Why should the shadows come?"

The audience of coffee drinkers was transfixed. Even the gurgling noises of the cappuccino machine ceased as the employees stopped what they were doing to listen. The song rose to its conclusion.

"I sing because I'm happy;
I sing because I'm free.
For His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me."

HOLY MOMENT

When the last note was sung, the applause crescendoed to a deafening roar that would have rivaled a sold-out crowd at Carnegie Hall. Embarrassed, the woman tried to shout over the din, "Oh, y'all go back to your coffee! I didn't come in here to do a concert! I just came in here to get somethin' to drink, just like you!"

But the ovation continued. I embraced my new friend. "You, my dear, have made my whole year! That was beautiful!"

"Well, it's funny that you picked that particular hymn," she said.

"Why is that?"

"Well..." she hesitated again, "that was my daughter's favorite song."

"Really!" I exclaimed.

"Yes," she said, and then grabbed my hands. By this time, the applause had subsided and it was business as usual. "She was 16. She died of a brain tumor last week."

I said the first thing that found its way through my stunned silence.

"Are you going to be okay?"

She smiled through tear-filled eyes and squeezed my hands. "I'm gonna be okay. I've just got to keep trusting the Lord and singing his songs, and everything's gonna be just fine."

She picked up her bag, gave me her card, and then she was gone.

Was it just a coincidence that we happened to be singing in that particular coffee shop on that particular November night? Coincidence that this wonderful lady just happened to walk into that particular shop? Coincidence that of all the hymns to choose from, I just happened to pick the very hymn that was the favorite of her daughter, who had died just the week before? I refuse to believe it.

God has been arranging encounters in human history since the beginning of time, and it's no stretch for me to imagine that he could reach into a coffee shop in midtown Manhattan and turn an ordinary gig into a revival. It was a great reminder that if we keep trusting him and singing his songs, everything's gonna be okay.

today'sTHOT============================

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Saint Peregrine and all of you pray for us!

Hello everyone, Some bad news about my wife, Mary Jo.

They admitted Mary Jo to Baptist East yesterday to do additional CT
Scans and other tests. They have confirmed that her lymphoma has become
very aggressive. She had one lymph node that had become enlarged that
they were watching. Now, they are all enlarged.

She will be having an endoscopy and a colonoscopy tomorrow to try to
determine other things she has going on. They put a port in her neck
this evening for the chemo treatments. They will be using a regimen of
four powerful chemo medicines to shrink the lymph nodes, and to send it
back to an indolent state.

The lymphoma she has is not cureable, but is treatable with the chemo
regimen they will be using. I am sure that the drugs they will be using
will knock Mary Jo for a loop. My focus for the foreseeable future is
to do my best taking care of the grandkids that we help with, and being
a rock for Mary Jo .

We aren't sure at this point when the chemo treatments will begin, or
how often they will be. One nurse said once a month. I suspect it takes
the rest of the month to recover for the next treatment.

Please keep all of us, and all cancer patients in your prayers,

Deacon Gerry
________________________________________________________________

SAINT PEREGRINE LAZIOSI

Born in Forli, Italy, Peregrine is the patron saint of persons suffering from cancer, AIDS and other serious diseases.

As a young man he was a member of an anti-papal party until he encountered St. Philip Benizi, the head of the Servite order, who had been sent to try to reconcile the divided community. While trying to preach in Forli, Philip was heckled and even struck by Peregrine, who was overcome by momentary political fervor. But that moment also changed Peregrine. He began to channel his energies in new directions, engaged in good works and eventually joined the Servites in Siena and went on to be ordained a priest. Returning to his home town, he founded a new Servite house there and became well known for his preaching and holiness as well as his devotion to the sick and poor.

One of the special penances he imposed on himself was standing whenever it was not necessary to sit. Over time, Peregrine developed varicose veins and, in turn, cancer of the foot. The wound became painful and diseased and all medical treatment failed. The local surgeon determined amputation of the leg was called for.

Tradition has it that the night before surgery was scheduled ,Peregrine spent much time in prayer before the crucified Jesus, asking God to heal him if it was God’s will to do so. Falling asleep at one point, Peregrine had a vision of the crucified Jesus leaving the cross and touching his cancerous leg. When Peregrine awoke, the wound was healed and his foot and leg, seemingly miraculously cured, were saved. He lived another 20 years.

Peregrine was canonized in 1726.

Comment:

Peregrine got his miracle: His cancer was cured even as the doctors prepared to amputate his foot. But Peregrine had already experienced a more important healing: A softening of his heart rechanneled all his energy into the service of the gospel. Most of us pray fervently if not for a miracle, at least for some need that lies close to our hearts. And so we should, for God cares about our concerns. But no prayer would please God more than to ask that we might experience an ongoing softening of our hearts.

Patron Saint of:

AIDS patients
Cancer patients



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Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty. - Mother Teresa

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The Great Twinkies Project






In an effort to clarify questions about the purported durability and unusual physical characteristics of Twinkies, I subjected the Hostess snack logs to the following experiments:

Exposure

A Twinkie was left on a window ledge for 4 days, during which time an inch and a half of rain fell. Many flies were observed crawling across the Twinkie's surface, but contrary to hypothesis, birds -- even pigeons -- avoided this potential source of substance.

Despite the rain and prolonged exposure to the sun, the Twinkie retained its original color and form. When removed, the Twinkie was found to be substantially dehydrated. Cracked open, it was observed to have taken on the consistency of industrial foam insulation; the filling, however, retained its advertised "creaminess."

Radiation

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional microwave oven, which was set for precisely 4 minutes -- the approximate cooking time of bacon. After 20 seconds, the oven began to emit the Twinkie's rich, characteristic aroma of artificial butter. After one minute, this aroma began to resemble the acrid smell of burning rubber. The experiment was aborted after 2 minutes, 10 seconds when thick, foul smoke began billowing from the top of the oven. A second Twinkie was subjected to the same experiment; this Twinkie leaked molten, white filling. When cooled, this now epoxy-like filling bonded the Twinkie to its plate, defying gravity it was removed only upon application of a butter knife.

Extreme Force

A Twinkie was dropped from a ninth-floor window, a fall of approximately 120 feet. It landed right side up, then bounced onto its back. The expected "splatter" effect was not observed. Indeed, the only discernible damage to the Twinkie was a narrow fissure on its underside; otherwise, the Twinkie remained structurally intact.

Extreme Cold

A Twinkie was placed in a conventional freezer for 24 hours. Upon removal, the Twinkie was not found to be frozen solid, but its physical properties had noticeably "slowed." The filling was found to be the approximate consistency of acrylic paint, while exhibiting the mercury-like property of not adhering to practically any surface. It was noticed the Twinkie had generously absorbed the freezer odors.

Extreme Heat

A Twinkie was exposed to a gas flame for 2 minutes. While the Twinkie smoked and blackened and the filling in one of its "cream holes" boiled, the Twinkie did not catch fire. It did, however, produce the same "burning rubber" aroma noticed in the irradiation experiment.

Immersion

A Twinkie was dropped into a large bucket filled with water, the Twinkie floated momentarily, then began to list and sink. Viscous yellow tendrils ran off its lower half, possibly consisting of a water-soluble artificial coloring. After 2 hours, the Twinkie bloated substantially. Its coloring was now a very pale tan -- in contrast to the yellow, urine-like water that surrounded it. The Twinkie bobbed when touched, and had a gelatinous texture. After 72 hours the Twinkie had increased roughly 200 percent of its original size. The water had turned opaque, and a small, fan-shaped spray of filling had leaked from one of the "cream holes." Unfortunately, efforts to remove the Twinkie for further analysis were abandoned when, under light pressure the Twinkie disintegrated into an amorphous cloud of debris. A distinctly sour odor was noted.

Summary of Results

The Twinkie's survival of a 120-foot drop, along with some of the unusual phenomena associated with the "creamy filling" and artificial coloring, should give pause to those observers who would unequivocally categorize the Twinkie as "food." Further clinical inquiry is required before any definite conclusions can be drawn.

today'sTHOT============================

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Be curious; be adventurous; live life full-out. Accept the challenge, and reach for the brass ring










A Family Tree Funny

Two men met recently and struck up a conversation. One was telling the other about some problems he was having with one of his kids.

After a while the other guy said, "You think you have family problems? Get a load of my situation. A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter and we got married. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson.

"Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter, which made him my wife's grandson. That made me grandfather of my half-brother.

"This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the sister of my son, my mother-in-law, is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife.

"I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I am my own grandfather. Wow! You think you have family problems."

today'sTHOT============================

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

LAWYER FUNNIES 2

Part 2

Lawyers aren't typically funny--unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide:

11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

12. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on November 8.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?
A: Yes
Q: What were you doing at the time?

13. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

14. So you were gone until you returned?

15. Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None
Q: Were there girls?

16. You don't know what it was, and you don't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

17. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

18. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

19. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."

20. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!

today'sTHOT============================

I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don’t actually catch on fire.

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Monday, October 22, 2012

Beatification Hymn - Blessed Pope John Paul II





Blessed Pope John Paul II 1920-2005

“Open wide the doors to Christ,” urged John Paul II during the homily at the Mass when he was installed as pope in 1978.

Born in Wadowice, Poland, Karol Jozef Wojtyla had lost his mother, father and older brother before his 21st birthday. Karol’s promising academic career at Krakow’s Jagiellonian University was cut short by the outbreak of World War II. While working in a quarry and a chemical factory, he enrolled in an “underground” seminary in Kraków. Ordained in 1946, he was immediately sent to Rome where he earned a doctorate in theology.

Back in Poland, a short assignment as assistant pastor in a rural parish preceded his very fruitful chaplaincy for university students. Soon he earned a doctorate in philosophy and began teaching that subject at Poland’s University of Lublin.

Communist officials allowed him to be appointed auxiliary bishop of Krakow in 1958, considering him a relatively harmless intellectual. They could not have been more wrong!

He attended all four sessions of Vatican II and contributed especially to its Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World. Appointed as archbishop of Krakow in 1964, he was named a cardinal three years later.

Elected pope in October 1978, he took the name of his short-lived, immediate predecessor. Pope John Paul II was the first non-Italian pope in 455 years. In time, he made pastoral visits to 124 countries, including several with small Christian populations.

He promoted ecumenical and interfaith initiatives, especially the 1986 Day of Prayer for World Peace in Assisi. He visited Rome’s Main Synagogue and the Western Wall in Jerusalem; he also established diplomatic relations between the Holy See and Israel. He improved Catholic-Muslim relations and in 2001 visited a mosque in Damascus, Syria.

The Great Jubilee of the Year 2000, a key event in John Paul’s ministry, was marked by special celebrations in Rome and elsewhere for Catholics and other Christians. Relations with the Orthodox Churches improved considerably during his ministry as pope.

“Christ is the center of the universe and of human history” was the opening line of his 1979 encyclical, Redeemer of the Human Race. In 1995, he described himself to the United Nations General Assembly as “a witness to hope.”

His 1979 visit to Poland encouraged the growth of the Solidarity movement there and the collapse of communism in central and eastern Europe 10 years later. He began World Youth Day and traveled to several countries for those celebrations. He very much wanted to visit China and the Soviet Union but the governments in those countries prevented that.

One of the most well-remembered photos of his pontificate was his one-on-one conversation in 1983 with Mehmet Ali Agca, who had attempted to assassinate him two years earlier.

In his 27 years of papal ministry, John Paul wrote 14 encyclicals and five books, canonized 482 saints and beatified 1,338 people.

In the last years of his life, he suffered from Parkinson’s disease and was forced to cut back on some of his activities.

Pope Benedict XVI beatified John Paul II on May 1, 2011, Divine Mercy Sunday.

Comment:

Before John Paul’s funeral Mass in St. Peter’s Square, hundreds of thousands of people had waited patiently for a brief moment to pray before his body, which lay in state inside St. Peter’s for several days. The media coverage of his funeral was unprecedented.

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, then dean of the College of Cardinals and later Pope Benedict XVI, presided at the funeral Mass and concluded his homily by saying: “None of us can ever forget how, in that last Easter Sunday of his life, the Holy Father, marked by suffering, came once more to the window of the Apostolic Palace and one last time gave his blessing urbi et orbi [‘to the city and to the world’].

“We can be sure that our beloved pope is standing today at the window of the Father’s house, that sees us and blesses us. Yes, bless us, Holy Father. We entrust your dear soul to the Mother of God, your Mother, who guided you each day and who will guide you now to the glory of her Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.”

Quote:

In his 1999 Letter to the Elderly, Pope John Paul II wrote: “Grant, O Lord of life,...when the moment of our definitive ‘passage’ comes, that we may face it with serenity, without regret for what we shall leave behind. For in meeting you, after having sought you for so long, we shall find once more every authentic good which we have known here on earth, in the company of all those who have gone before us marked with the sign of faith and hope....Amen.”




A true friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though you are slightly cracked










LAWYER FUNNIES

Part 1

Lawyers aren't typically funny--unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nationwide:

1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

2. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?

3. Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."
Q: Did he kill you?

4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6. Were you alone or by yourself?

7. How long have you been a French Canadian?

8. Do you have children or anything of that kind?

9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

today'sTHOT============================

My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.

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Sunday, October 21, 2012

Interfaith worshippers celebrate California's sea and surf

A recent interfaith worship service on a California beach an hour south of Los Angeles celebrated the ocean and the state's surfing culture. Christians, Muslims, Jews and others in attendance believe the ocean teaches lessons about life and faith.





Holy Father names two Americans saints, Saints Kateri Tekakwitha and Marianne Cope

Sunday was a big day for Catholics in North America. Thousands of miles away in Rome, Pope Benedict XVI named 17th century Mohawk Kateri Tekakwitha the first Native American saint.

Another newly named saint is Marianne Cope, a German-born woman who emigrated to the United States as a child, became a nun and went on to devote 30 years of her life helping lepers in Hawaii.

Their canonization, along with that of five other saints, was celebrated at a special Mass in St. Peter's Square Sunday morning.

"This is a great weekend for America in the Vatican, and it's really a great weekend for Native Americans. Sainthood is the guarantee that this person is close to God," said Vatican senior communications adviser Greg Burke.

"There's a vast history of people the Catholic Church has made saints over the centuries. Holiness is absolutely a matter of equal opportunity, but this certainly is special because it marks the first time a Native American becomes a saint."




Friday, October 19, 2012

Nothing is worth losing your inner peace. Take action as circumstances require, but never surrender your inner peace.

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A Talking Dog Funny

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A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout.

"This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent.

"Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what's on the top of a house?"

"Roof!" the dog replies.

"Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go 'roof.'"

"No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog, "What does sandpaper feel like?"

"Rough!" the dog answers.

The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience.

"No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you."

He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?"

"Ruth!" goes the dog.

And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.

The dog and man sit on the curb dejected. The dog turns to his owner and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

today'sTHOT============================

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

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Thursday, October 18, 2012

For today, I choose the higher road...











A kindergarten funny

Little Johnny was in kindergarten. There was a another boy in his class who wasn't listening to the teacher.

The teacher said to the boy, "Since you don't want to listen, you sit at that table by yourself."

After a few minutes, Johnny raised his hand and said, "I don't want to listen either. Can I sit with him?"

[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]

today'sTHOT============================

Marriage Advice: Being married is a lot like living in California ... If you find a fault, don't dwell on it!

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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Reflection: Struggle with what I’m saying!

Reflection from Richard Rohr at the Center for Contemplation and Action

Jesus uses storytelling to change our world view, which is common among all spiritual masters. The evangelists call them parables. A parable confronts our common and convenient world and subverts it. It doesn’t call for discussion, debate, or further questions; it is not God-as-information and quick answers. Rather it is God-as-invitation-revolution-and-challenge. A parable calls us to insight, freedom, and decision. A parable doesn’t lead us to endless analysis; it’s either a flashing insight or it’s nothing.

Jesus is never afraid to put things in a hard and ego-demanding way. He’s not afraid of using a word that’s inevitably going to be misunderstood. He puts big truth out there; dealing with it is the listener’s problem. He is saying, in effect, “Struggle with what I’m saying!”

In general, Jesus doesn’t spend a great deal of time qualifying his points and making sure that everybody understands him clearly according to the recent political correctness. I am afraid liberal people are just as trapped in political correctness as are conservatives. Liberals often want you to say what will be inoffensive to any ego, and their false self is easily offended. (If you do not offend any ego whatsoever, you are supposedly being Christian!) In fact, Jesus offends the rich, the arrogant, the superior, the righteous, and the supposedly orthodox.

Adapted from The Good News According to Luke:
Spiritual Reflections, p.p. 120, 162

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A baby and doctor funny

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An expectant mom let her 4-year-old place his hand on her belly and feel the baby kick.

He asked, "How does the baby get out of there?"

To keep it simple, she just said, "The doctor will help."

His eyes widened: "You've got a doctor in there, too?!"

[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

today'sTHOT============================

Marriage Advice: A career is a fine thing. But while you're busy earning your salt, don't forget to pay attention to your sugar.

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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Humor: 101 Things To Do During a Dull Sermon

~ Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.

~ See if a yawn really is contagious.

~ Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.

~ Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.

~ Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B and so on through the alphabet.

~ Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.

~ Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.

~ Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.

~ Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.

~ Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.

~ Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.

~ Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.

~ By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt around backwards.

~ While people are locating the announced congregational song, step out in the aisle and begin waving your arms as if directing the hymn.

~ Sit close to the front, and during the prayer, turn around backwards, point, and count softly how many people do not have their heads bowed and eyes closed.

~ See how many hard candies you can stuff in your cheeks before your mother catches you.

~ Begin coughing and get louder and louder until you get to excuse yourself and leave the room.

~ Choose a different song than was announced and begin singing it as loud as you can.

today'sTHOT============================

A word to the wise: Never allow a tobacco-chewing dyslexic near your "tips" jar.

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GIVING CREDIT!
This Funny is from the book "101 Things To Do During a Dull Sermon": http://www.amazon.com/101-Things-During-Dull-Sermon/dp/185424549X



Ken’s Story: Conceived in Rape, Born for Love

By Deirdre A. McQuade

A man named Ken recently called in to a Washington, DC radio talk show discussing the question of abortion after rape. In the midst of a politically charged discussion, his personal story caught the host off guard. Ken explained that he was adopted as an infant, and at age 30, located his birth mother and learned the circumstances of his conception.

“Her story was that she was hit over the head with a baseball bat and was raped at 15. So she went away to Catholic Charities, had me, made the brave decision to keep me -- and, well, keep me alive. And then I was adopted and I have three beautiful children now, have been married for 15 years – and I would just like to speak up for those [voice breaks] who have no voice.”
Ken defended both women who are the victims of rape, and their innocent children who are conceived in violence:

“It really eats me up when I hear people talk about rape, because it is horrible. My mother won’t tell me what my father’s name is because he threatened to kill her if she ever said anything. So she has not told me his name, but if I was ever to meet him, the first thing I would probably do is punch him. I think rape is horrible, but what I want to say to women out there is: you can take something that was terribly done to you, and make something good out of it. And that’s, [voice breaks] that’s me.”
At first, the talk show host was stunned, but then he asked questions that unfolded into a nine-minute long segment.

Ken talked about growing up in a loving adoptive home – his parents had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary -- and how he shares a relationship with his birth mother, her husband, and their children (his half-siblings). He expressed gratitude for his birth mother’s going through so much to give him life. He admired how she rebuilt her life after her assault, pregnancy, and adoption placement, saying: “That was a hard time in her life. She sacrificed a lot….But she moved on in her life, and she was able to overcome the shame that was put on her.”

He urged listeners to see that children conceived in rape are just as human, just as “real”, as everyone else. “It’s an emotional topic because I just get tired of people treating these unborn children like they’re, like they’re nothing. And they can be born, and they can grow up, and they can have a great life.”

As a teen, Ken promised himself and God that he would return the favor of adoption, a promise that he and his wife fulfilled four years ago when they adopted a special needs premature baby girl from foster care. “I have an adopted child now because I was so grateful for having the opportunity to have my parents who took care of me….She’s our, she’s my daughter, and [voice breaks] I love her.”

Although Ken was conceived in rape, that was not the final word in his life. Abortion would have multiplied the violence, destroying the life of an innocent human being. But thanks be to God, the power of love prevailed over violence. Through the generosity and courage of his birth mother, both he and his mother were free to love and be loved in many unanticipated ways.

Hear Ken tell the whole story in his own voice:


__________________________________________________________
Deirdre A. McQuade is Assistant Director for Policy & Communications at the Secretariat of Pro-Life Activities, U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. For more information on the bishops’ pro-life activities, visit www.usccb.org/prolife.



Humor: Heaven or Hell?

While walking down the street one day a corrupt politician was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the politician.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher-ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really? I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the politician.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the politician realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven. "

So, 24 hours passed with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The politician reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the politician. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says,

"Yesterday we were campaigning. Today, you voted."

[forwarded by Jerry Lambert]

today'sTHOT============================

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.

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The greatest challenge ... is not the exploring of the mysteries of the outer space, but the developing of the millions of God's forgotten children,

The greatest challenge ...
is not the exploring of the mysteries of the outer space,
but the developing of the millions of God's forgotten children,
the developing peoples of the world,
so they can become our equal
and full partners to build a better world -
a world of freedom and brotherhood.

- Jimmy Yen





Monday, October 15, 2012

An Inheritance Funny

HUSBAND: Honey, do you love me just because I inherited a fortune from my
father?

WIFE: Of course not, darling! I would love you regardless of who left you
the money.

[forwarded by Al Keeney]

today'sTHOT============================

All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

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Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; Serenity, that nothing is.

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Saturday, October 13, 2012

Bible Funnies

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Q. What's the phone number of the Garden of Eden?
A. ADAM-8-1-2

Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.

today'sTHOT============================

I like coffee so much, I have a picture of my coffee mug on my coffee mug.

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This is to have succeeded...










Thursday, October 11, 2012

Saint Bridget of Sweden

Bridget was born in 1303, the daughter of a governor. Throughout her youth, she often heard the voices of Jesus and Mary. She was particularly sensitive to the sufferings of the crucified Lord and for most of her life meditated on His Passion and Death.

She married young, betrothed to a Swedish prince when she was an infant. Their marriage was happy and fruitful and they raised eight children, one of whom became a saint like her mother — Catherine of Sweden.

After her husband’s death, Bridget led an austere and celibate life. She received many prophecies from the Lord which led her to give counsel and stern warnings to several popes and kings about their worldly lives. Many saints visited her in visions providing her with guidance and revelation about the future. Despite her condemnations of the actions of both spiritual and state authorities, her pleading to return the papacy to Rome went unheeded.

She founded a monastery for women and men in which the women controlled the temporal matters of the order, while the men commanded the spiritual matters. This order became known as the Brigittines.

In a message from the pope to Mother Tekla Famiglietti, abbess general of the Order of the Most Holy Saviour of St. Bridget, on the occasion of the 700th anniversary of the birth of the Swedish saint, the Holy Father expressed his gratitude to the religious for their “significant apostolic work in the service of unity among Christians, especially in Europe, following the footsteps of the saint from Sweden.”

John Paul II recalled that St. Bridget “was a master in accepting the Cross as a central experience of the faith; she was an exemplary disciple of the Church, professing complete Catholicism; she was a model of the contemplative and active life and a tireless apostle in the search for unity among Christians. She also had the gift of prophetic intuition when reading the history of the Gospel and the Gospel in history.”

In a time when humanity struggles to fulfill the moral good and eradicate the moral evils of the world, the words of St. Bridget echo through time, speaking to us from the visions from Christ that she shared. From one disturbing conversation she had with Him in 1372, she revealed these words:

“O my enemies, why do you so boldly commit such sins and do other things contrary to my will? Why have you neglected My Passion? Why do you not attend in your hearts to how I ‘stood’ naked on the cross and cried out, full of wounds and clothed in blood?

“But your eyes and heart forget and neglect all these things. And so you behave like prostitutes, who love the delight of the flesh, but not of its offspring. For when they feel a living infant in their womb, at once they procure an abortion so that without losing their fleshly pleasure, they may always engage in their foul intercourse.”

St. Bridget died before seeing the Holy See return from Avignon to Rome, but she died near the tomb of Peter on July 23, 1373.




Those who believe they can do something, and those who believe they can't are both right










Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise...

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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Manute Bol’s Son: 6-5 7th Grade Prospect

Two years after former NBA player Manute Bol succumbed to acute kidney failure at the age of 47, his legacy lives on in the form of his son Bol Bol, a 6-foot-5 seventh grader from Kansas.

Bol Bol, one of 10 children that the late Manute is survived by, demonstrated at the recent Cross Roads Elite Camp in Indianapolis that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Bol Bol has a nice stroke from distance and, unlike his father, has the ability to create off the dribble.

The recruiting site iHigh.com wrote of Bol last month:

This also was our first opportunity to see 6’3 7th Grader Bol Bol from Kansas City, MO, who appears to be out of the same mold as his late father (Manute Bol) in that he’s a long, lanky, athletic shot blocker with amazing agility and coordination for somebody so big and so young. He also has great hands and excellent skills, plays with a lot of energy and runs the court extremely well, and, with his genes and pedigree, it’s only a matter of time before he becomes a 7-footer. In other words, we’re talking about a guy with super star written all over him and, based on his projected size, athleticism, and incredible upside and potential, it’s easy to see why we will have ranked among the top five players nationally in his class when later this week we publish our Ranking of the Top Player Nationally in the Class of 2018.

The big question is how much more Bol Bol will grow. After all, he’s only a seventh grader and comes from a family where his father, aunt, grandmother and grandfather were all at least 6-foot-8 or taller. Manute Bol is tied for the tallest player in NBA history with Gheorghe MureÅŸan at 7-foot-7 and played in the league from 1985-95.

Kansas head coach Bill Self might want to make a trip to Bol’s middle school as soon as possible.




Saint Francis Borgia

For those of us who went to Flaget High School or Saint Xavier High School, in memory of our beloved math teacher, Brother Borgia, CFX.

Today's saint grew up in an important family in 16th-century Spain, serving in the imperial court and quickly advancing in his career. But a series of events—including the death of his beloved wife—made Francis Borgia rethink his priorities. He gave up public life, gave away his possessions and joined the new and little-known Society of Jesus.

Religious life proved to be the right choice. He felt drawn to spend time in seclusion and prayer, but his administrative talents also made him a natural for other tasks. He helped in the establishment of what is now the Gregorian University in Rome. Not long after his ordination he served as political and spiritual adviser to the emperor. In Spain, he founded a dozen colleges.

At 55, Francis was elected head of the Jesuits. He focused on the growth of the Society of Jesus, the spiritual preparation of its new members and spreading the faith in many parts of Europe. He was responsible for the founding of Jesuit missions in Florida, Mexico and Peru.

Francis Borgia is often regarded as the second founder of the Jesuits. He died in 1572 and was canonized 100 years later.

Patron Saint of:
Earthquakes




Military Family Reunion at USC-UGA Game

The Faile family from Kershaw, South Carolina, was the Columbia Metropolitan Airport Military Family of the Game, set to be recognized on the field. Their first surprise was a message to them from their dad/husband, Sergeant First Class Scott Faile, playing on the video board, followed by an even bigger surprise. The Gamecocks would go on to beat Georgia, 35-7, just as Sgt. Faile predicted.



Go Gamecocks!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Happiness is...

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Video: Tell Your Mama By The Vespers





A Mother's Love: Our Lady Of The Rosary





Our Lady Of The Rosary

Pope St. Pius V established this feast in 1573. The purpose was to thank God for the victory of Christians over the Turks at Lepanto—a victory attributed to the praying of the rosary. Clement XI extended the feast to the universal Church in 1716.

The development of the rosary has a long history. First, a practice developed of praying 150 Our Fathers in imitation of the 150 Psalms. Then there was a parallel practice of praying 150 Hail Marys. Soon a mystery of Jesus' life was attached to each Hail Mary. Though Mary's giving the rosary to St. Dominic is recognized as a legend, the development of this prayer form owes much to the followers of St. Dominic. One of them, Alan de la Roche, was known as "the apostle of the rosary." He founded the first Confraternity of the Rosary in the 15th century. In the 16th century the rosary was developed to its present form—with the 15 mysteries (joyful, sorrowful and glorious). In 2002, Pope John Paul II added the Mysteries of Light to this devotion.

Comment:

The purpose of the rosary is to help us meditate on the great mysteries of our salvation. Pius XII called it a compendium of the gospel. The main focus is on Jesus—his birth, life, death and resurrection. The Our Fathers remind us that Jesus' Father is the initiator of salvation. The Hail Marys remind us to join with Mary in contemplating these mysteries. They also make us aware that Mary was and is intimately joined with her Son in all the mysteries of his earthly and heavenly existence. The Glorys remind us that the purpose of all life is the glory of the Trinity.

The rosary appeals to many. It is simple. The constant repetition of words helps create an atmosphere in which to contemplate the mysteries of God. We sense that Jesus and Mary are with us in the joys and sorrows of life. We grow in hope that God will bring us to share in the glory of Jesus and Mary forever.

Quote:

“The rosary, though clearly Marian in character, is at heart a Christ-centered prayer. It has all the depth of the gospel messge in its entirety. It is an echo of the prayer of Mary, her perennial Magnificat for the work of the redemptive Incarnation which began in her virginal womb.... It can be said that the rosary is, in some sense, a prayer-commentary on the final chapter of the Vatican II Constitution Lumen Gentium, a chapter that discusses the wondrous presence of the Mother of God in the mystery of Christ and the Church" (Pope John Paul II, apostolic letter The Rosary of the Virgin Mary).



The Adventure Of Discovery








What Kids Hear



** The Rosary **

From Groton, MA:
My mother spent her early childhood saying, "Hail Mary, full of grapes."


** Pledge of Allegiance **

Covina, CA:
I recall reading something years ago about the Pledge of Allegiance. Some child thought it began, "I led the pigeons to the flag."

Cleveland, OH:
When I was little, I often wondered who Richard Stands was. You know: "I pledge allegiance to the flag ... and to the republic for Richard Stands."


** Hymns **

Schenectady, NY:
I once knew a child whose favorite Sunday school song was "Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear."

Lake Forest Park, WA:
When I was a little girl, we sang a song in Sunday school about Noah. Part of the chorus was "And the rains came down, and the floods came up." We lived next door to a couple of charming little girls who always sang this song while playing in their garden. Their words were, "And the rains came down, and the spuds came up."


** The Creed **

Tampa, FL:
When my husband was 6 years old, he thought the creed said:
"He suffered under a bunch of violets."
The real words are "under Pontius Pilate," but at that age, he didn't know better.


** The Lord's Prayer **

From San Francisco:
When I was a child, I learned this prayer as "Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name." I always thought that was God's real name.

Missoula, MT:
My son, who is in nursery school, said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?"

Uniontown, OH:
I remember thinking this prayer was "Give us this day our jelly bread."

Grand Junction, CO:
When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into temptation." I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.

[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

today'sTHOT============================

My wife wanted me to start taking cod liver oil for my health, but I thought there was something fishy about the whole idea.

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Friday, October 5, 2012

A Hiccup Funny




A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face.

"What did you do that for?" the man asks.

"Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?"

The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does!"

today'sTHOT============================

Help keep the kitchen clean: Eat out.

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It's our choices...that show what we are, far more than our abilities ~ JK Rowling








Wednesday, October 3, 2012

October Is Respect Life Month








Saint Francis of Assisi: Blessing of the Animals





Saint Francis of Assisi

Francis of Assisi was a poor little man who astounded and inspired the Church by taking the gospel literally—not in a narrow fundamentalist sense, but by actually following all that Jesus said and did, joyfully, without limit and without a sense of self-importance.

Serious illness brought the young Francis to see the emptiness of his frolicking life as leader of Assisi's youth. Prayer—lengthy and difficult—led him to a self-emptying like that of Christ, climaxed by embracing a leper he met on the road. It symbolized his complete obedience to what he had heard in prayer: "Francis! Everything you have loved and desired in the flesh it is your duty to despise and hate, if you wish to know my will. And when you have begun this, all that now seems sweet and lovely to you will become intolerable and bitter, but all that you used to avoid will turn itself to great sweetness and exceeding joy."

From the cross in the neglected field-chapel of San Damiano, Christ told him, "Francis, go out and build up my house, for it is nearly falling down." Francis became the totally poor and humble workman.

He must have suspected a deeper meaning to "build up my house." But he would have been content to be for the rest of his life the poor "nothing" man actually putting brick on brick in abandoned chapels. He gave up all his possessions, piling even his clothes before his earthly father (who was demanding restitution for Francis' "gifts" to the poor) so that he would be totally free to say, "Our Father in heaven." He was, for a time, considered to be a religious fanatic, begging from door to door when he could not get money for his work, evokng sadness or disgust to the hearts of his former friends, ridicule from the unthinking.

But genuineness will tell. A few people began to realize that this man was actually trying to be Christian. He really believed what Jesus said: "Announce the kingdom! Possess no gold or silver or copper in your purses, no traveling bag, no sandals, no staff" (see Luke 9:1-3).

Francis' first rule for his followers was a collection of texts from the Gospels. He had no idea of founding an order, but once it began he protected it and accepted all the legal structures needed to support it. His devotion and loyalty to the Church were absolute and highly exemplary at a time when various movements of reform tended to break the Church's unity.

He was torn between a life devoted entirely to prayer and a life of active preaching of the Good News. He decided in favor of the latter, but always returned to solitude when he could. He wanted to be a missionary in Syria or in Africa, but was prevented by shipwreck and illness in both cases. He did try to convert the sultan of Egypt during the Fifth Crusade.

During the last years of his relatively short life (he died at 44), he was half blind and seriously ill. Two years before his death, he received the stigmata, the real and painful wounds of Christ in his hands, feet and side.

On his deathbed, he said over and over again the last addition to his Canticle of the Sun, "Be praised, O Lord, for our Sister Death." He sang Psalm 141, and at the end asked his superior to have his clothes removed when the last hour came and for permission to expire lying naked on the earth, in imitation of his Lord.

Comment:
Francis of Assisi was poor only that he might be Christ-like. He recognized creation as another manifestation of the beauty of God. In 1979, he was named aptron of ecology. He did great penance (apologizing to "Brother Body" later in life) that he might be totally disciplined for the will of God. His poverty had a sister, humility, by which he meant total dependence on the good God. But all this was, as it were, preliminary to the heart of his spirituality: living the gospel life, summed up in the charity of Jesus and perfectly expressed in the Eucharist.

Quote:
"We adore you and we bless you, Lord Jesus Christ, here and in all the churches which are in the whole world, because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world" (St. Francis).

Patron Saint of:
Animals
Ecology
Italy
Merchants





A necktie funny









A guy goes into a fancy lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar, but the bouncer tells him he needs a necktie to get in.

The guy doesn't have a necktie handy, so goes out to his car and gets his jumper cables. He ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot, and lets the ends dangle free.

He goes back to the lounge. The bouncer looks him up & down and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in - just don't start anything."

[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

today'sTHOT============================

I'm not fat...I'm just too short for my weight.

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Difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time. - Saint Francis de Sales

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Tuesday, October 2, 2012

A Samaritan Funny

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan.

She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded
and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, "I think I'd throw up."

today'sTHOT============================

I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex.He's a small arms dealer.

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Footprints in the sands of time. Where have you been? Where are you going?








Monday, October 1, 2012

Pope Benedict: Social Networks • Portals of Truth and Faith • New Spaces for Evangelization







(Vatican Radio)The theme for the next World Communications Day has been announced. Below the text of the statement released Saturday by the Pontifical Council of Social Communications.

One of the most important challenges facing the task of evangelization today is that which is emerging from the digital environment. Pope Benedict XVI calls attention to this particular topic, in the context of the Year of Faith, in his choice of the theme for the 47th World Communications Day, “Social Networks: portals of truth and faith; new spaces for evangelization”.

The theme suggests a series of important points for reflection. During a time in which technology has emerged as part of the fabric of connectivity of human experiences, such as relationships and knowledge, we need to ask: can it help men and women meet Christ in faith? It is not enough to find an adequate language, but rather, it is necessary to learn how to present the Gospel as the answer to that basic human yearning for meaning and faith, which has already found expression online.

Such an approach, which will serve to create a more dynamic and humane digital world, requires a new way of thinking. It is not simply a question of how to use the internet as a means of evangelization, but instead of how to evangelize in a context where the lives of people find expression also in the digital arena.

In particular, we need to be attentive to the emergence and enormous popularity of the social networks, which privilege dialogical and interactive forms of communication and relationships.
World Communications Day, the only worldwide celebration called for by the Second Vatican Council (Inter Mirifica, 1963), is celebrated in most countries, on the recommendation of the bishops of the world, on the Sunday before Pentecost (May 12th in 2013). The Holy Father’s message for World Communications Day is traditionally published in conjunction with the Memorial of St. Francis de Sales, patron of writers (January 24).


Father Robert Barron's commentary on political conventions & campaigns





Rumors about religious military funerals being banned laid to rest






Some of you might have heard about or read an article distributed by some Catholic websites that the National Cemetery Administration had banned religious funerals for veterans. Here's some reassuring news from the Under Secretary for Memorial Affairs. May all of our veterans rest in peace.

Our focus at the National Cemetery Administration (NCA) always has been and always will be on Veterans and their families - and how we can best serve them in their hour of need. We cherish the religious freedoms our Veterans secured for us. At all VA national cemeteries, families are free to choose and use the burial rites and rituals that are meaningful or sacred to them.

Families are equally free to have a service with or without religious references at VA national cemeteries across the country. They decide whether and what type of religious service will take place, and whether the name of God or Jesus is allowed and is freely spoken. Whatever the type of service that families choose for their loved ones, we share a common goal with them - to ensure a dignified committal service worthy of their loved one’s service and sacrifice to our Nation.

I hope that this information is helpful to you. Thank you for supporting our Nation’s Veterans.

Sincerely,

Steve L. Muro
Under Secretary for Memorial Affairs




A US Senate joke...

Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for
the senators?"

He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the
people."

[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]

today'sTHOT============================

I'm not bald...I'm just taller than my hair.

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The beauty does not live out there; the beauty's in my eyes