Saturday, March 31, 2012
We are soon going to share in the Passover
From a homily by Saint Gregory Nazianzen, bishop
We are soon going to share in the Passover, and although we still do so only in a symbolic way, the symbolism already has more clarity than it possessed in former times because, under the law, the Passover was, if I may dare to say so, only a symbol of a symbol. Before long, however, when the Word drinks the new wine with us in the kingdom of his Father, we shall be keeping the Passover in a yet more perfect way, and with deeper understanding. He will then reveal to us and make clear what he has so far only partially disclosed. For this wine, so familiar to us now, is eternally new.
It is for us to learn what this drinking is, and for him to teach us. He has to communicate this knowledge to his disciples, because teaching is food, even for the teacher.
So let us take our part in the Passover prescribed by the law, not in a literal way, but according to the teaching of the Gospel; not in an imperfect way, but perfectly; not only for a time, but eternally. Let us regard as our home the heavenly Jerusalem, not the earthly one; the city glorified by angels, not the one laid waste by armies. We are not required to sacrifice young bulls or rams, beasts with horns and hoofs that are more dead than alive and devoid of feeling; but instead, let us join the choirs of angels in offering God upon his heavenly altar a sacrifice of praise. We must now pass through the first veil and approach the second, turning our eyes toward the Holy of Holies. I will say more: we must sacrifice ourselves to God, each day and in everything we do, accepting all that happens to us for the sake of the Word, imitating his passion by our sufferings, and honoring his blood by shedding our own. We must be ready to be crucified.
If you are a Simon of Cyrene, take up your cross and follow Christ. If you are crucified beside him like one of the thieves, now, like the good thief, acknowledge your God. For your sake, and because of your sin, Christ himself was regarded as a sinner; for his sake, therefore, you must cease to sin. Worship him who was hung on the cross because of you, even if you are hanging there yourself. Derive some benefit from the very shame; purchase salvation with your death. Enter paradise with Jesus, and discover how far you have fallen. Contemplate the glories there, and leave the other scoffing thief to die outside in his blasphemy.
If you are a Joseph of Arimathea, go to the one who ordered his crucifixion, and ask for Christ’s body. Make your own the expiation for the sins of the whole world. If you are a Nicodemus, like the man who worshipped God by night, bring spices and prepare Christ’s body for burial. If you are one of the Marys, or Salome, or Joanna, weep in the early morning. Be the first to see the stone rolled back, and even the angels perhaps, and Jesus himself.
O God,
who have made all those reborn in Christ
a chosen race and a royal priesthood,
grant us, we pray,
the grace to will and to do what you command,
that the people called to eternal life
may be one in the faith of their hearts
and the homage of their deeds.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.
– Amen.
If you don't know where you're going...
Holy Week starts tomorrow, a sacred journey beginning with Jesus’ triumphal entry into Jerusalem and continuing through the Easter Triduum. During this mystical time, we are invited to remember the terminal events of Jesus’ life and prayerfully reflect on their meaning.
Today, as a prelude to the week ahead, we see Jesus making an absolute commitment to complete his Father’s work. Speaking to his disciples prior to the Palm Sunday procession, we hear Jesus say,
“Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem; and the Son of man will be delivered to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death,19 and deliver him to the Gentiles to be mocked and scourged and crucified, and he will be raised on the third day” (Matt 20:18-19).
Jesus’ resolute tone helps us understand the importance of commitment. In the week ahead, can we identify and prioritize a singular goal and commit, as Jesus did, to see it through to completion? What are the choices ahead of us? Where in our lives is new life budding forth?
Inherent in decision is an opposing force, a paradox. We know we have to commit to create; yet we oftentimes fear the singular choice. New life can only come through a partnership with dedication, but we long to reserve other options.
“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;…” (Robert Frost, “The Road Not Taken”)
Friday, March 30, 2012
A Palm Sunday Reflection
This coming week is about focus. We are not very good at it. More than any other generation in history our attention is scattered and fragmented. The novelist Sebastian Faulks commented on this when he spoke at the Brook Green Book Festival. His own sons, he said, sometimes had three screens going at the same time. I puzzled for a moment over what he meant, and realized that he was referring to TV, laptop and mobile phone, all whizzing away simultaneously. This is a sign and symptom of how hard it is for us to look, to ponder, to focus and then to integrate what we see.
To help us to focus and centre ourselves, the Church makes us read the Passion narrative twice in the next few days. The first time this weekend on Palm Sunday, then again on Good Friday. Every year the same thing happens: we are there with Christ. The element of drama draws us in, even although we know well the contours of the story. We are there on the edge of the crowd looking on, peering through the dust, trying to hear his words above the hubbub of the excitable throng.
You cannot hurry the Passion narrative. It slows us down as it unfolds. It makes us look even when we would rather turn away. We want to evade parts of the last day of his life because, to be frank, it is a story of shocking brutality. But then again, this is not only his world, it is our world. We hold life to be dear, but there are parts of the world where life is cheap. Contemplating the wounds of Christ we see our wounded world. The victims of rape, the persecuted Christians, the casualties of war, the needlessly starving children in a world of plenty. Now, admittedly we need optimism to make progress in the world. We would never work to improve things if we did not believe that it was possible to make a difference. We need, though, also to be realistic about human nature. Human beings are capable of great love or great hatred; of generosity or malice. Jesus calls us to love and generosity and mercy, and through his suffering he shows how much these things are needed.
As Holy Week begins, I have the image of a sick body, with poisons and toxins circulating around in its bloodstream. The body is the world. The only way to deal with these elements of sickness is to draw them out of the body. And Jesus will, in the events of Good Friday, draw these poisons to himself. All the hatred, resentment, anger, self-centredness and callousness of the world will descend on him. As he is displayed on the cross, so, too, all the ills that plague the human race will be displayed there. Only this time, by drawing them out and defeating them, God in Christ will heal what only he could heal: the hurt and ailing body of humankind. All that is hidden will be drawn to the surface, and its poison removed.
Good Friday leaves us in no doubt that there is a sad violence at the heart of human nature. God made us free and we are free to choose well and wisely or foolishly and sinfully. Yet God does not leave us there. Through the memory of Christ on the cross he draws us hack. He tells us that what counts is not our miserable sins, but the goodness of Christ, who met and defeated sin on the cross. As is sometimes said, God accepts us as we are, but he loves us too much to leave us as we are. In Christ he gives us new life. The narrative we enter into is not just his story, but our story also. Because our story is part of Christ’s story, our death leads us to life, our sin becomes repentance, and our foolishness is overtaken by the mercy of God.
Fr Terry is Parish Priest at St Mary's in Finchley East, north London.
To help us to focus and centre ourselves, the Church makes us read the Passion narrative twice in the next few days. The first time this weekend on Palm Sunday, then again on Good Friday. Every year the same thing happens: we are there with Christ. The element of drama draws us in, even although we know well the contours of the story. We are there on the edge of the crowd looking on, peering through the dust, trying to hear his words above the hubbub of the excitable throng.
You cannot hurry the Passion narrative. It slows us down as it unfolds. It makes us look even when we would rather turn away. We want to evade parts of the last day of his life because, to be frank, it is a story of shocking brutality. But then again, this is not only his world, it is our world. We hold life to be dear, but there are parts of the world where life is cheap. Contemplating the wounds of Christ we see our wounded world. The victims of rape, the persecuted Christians, the casualties of war, the needlessly starving children in a world of plenty. Now, admittedly we need optimism to make progress in the world. We would never work to improve things if we did not believe that it was possible to make a difference. We need, though, also to be realistic about human nature. Human beings are capable of great love or great hatred; of generosity or malice. Jesus calls us to love and generosity and mercy, and through his suffering he shows how much these things are needed.
As Holy Week begins, I have the image of a sick body, with poisons and toxins circulating around in its bloodstream. The body is the world. The only way to deal with these elements of sickness is to draw them out of the body. And Jesus will, in the events of Good Friday, draw these poisons to himself. All the hatred, resentment, anger, self-centredness and callousness of the world will descend on him. As he is displayed on the cross, so, too, all the ills that plague the human race will be displayed there. Only this time, by drawing them out and defeating them, God in Christ will heal what only he could heal: the hurt and ailing body of humankind. All that is hidden will be drawn to the surface, and its poison removed.
Good Friday leaves us in no doubt that there is a sad violence at the heart of human nature. God made us free and we are free to choose well and wisely or foolishly and sinfully. Yet God does not leave us there. Through the memory of Christ on the cross he draws us hack. He tells us that what counts is not our miserable sins, but the goodness of Christ, who met and defeated sin on the cross. As is sometimes said, God accepts us as we are, but he loves us too much to leave us as we are. In Christ he gives us new life. The narrative we enter into is not just his story, but our story also. Because our story is part of Christ’s story, our death leads us to life, our sin becomes repentance, and our foolishness is overtaken by the mercy of God.
Fr Terry is Parish Priest at St Mary's in Finchley East, north London.
The Hug
It was one of those mornings.
You know the type.
Things are tense.
Our infant son had been up all night.
My wife's eyes (along with the rest of her) were weary.
My oldest son, the five-year-old, wasn't feeling his best either.
He was slow getting ready for school.
He understandably didn't feel like going.
It was just one of those mornings.
You know the type.
As I drove him to school, he was quiet.
When parents are tense and tired, the children feel it.
They know by word and gesture when their acts and attitudes are less tolerated.
After being fussed at, he was sullen.
It was one of those mornings.
You know the type.
I walked him to his classroom as usual.
He walked in, removed his coat and hung it up.
I usually give my son a hug before I leave him in class.
I knew today he really needed a big hug, and maybe so did I.
He came forward with his arms outstretched. I bowed down,
clasped my arms around him, closed my eyes and hugged him tight.
Normally, I would only hug him for two or three seconds but on this morning,
I held him tight as the seconds ticked by like dashed lines on the highway.
All of a sudden, I felt him get heavier.
Still clinging to my son, I opened my eyes. I understood why he had gotten heavier.
His feet were off the ground. He had curled his legs up and his heels were only inches away from his backside.
He clung.
I clung.
Sometimes in life no words are needed. As he folded his legs up and trusted his father to carry all of his weight,
he didn't get heavier to my spirit.
I actually felt lighter.
It was a ritual repeated countless times through countless years from countless parents to countless children.
The touch and embrace between a parent and a child, make them both feel more secure.
It was one of those mornings.
You know the type.
today'sTHOT============================
Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.
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Wednesday, March 28, 2012
OOPS ADS PLACED IN NEWSPAPERS Part 2
~ Hummers Largest selection ever If its in stock, we have it!
~ Illiterate? Write today for free help.
~ Lost small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
~ Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
~ Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
~ Nice parachute. Never opened. Used once.
~ Nordic Track $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.
~ Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
~ Open house: Body shapers toning salon. Free coffee and doughnuts.
~ Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
~ Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
~ Snowblower for sale. Only used on snowy days.
~ Stock up and save. Limit one.
~ Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
~ Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated.
~ Wanted Hair-cutter: Excellent growth potential.
~ Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
~ We build bodies that last a lifetime.
~ We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
today'sTHOT============================
Q: What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an atheist?
A: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.
=======================================
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~ Illiterate? Write today for free help.
~ Lost small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
~ Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
~ Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
~ Nice parachute. Never opened. Used once.
~ Nordic Track $300. Hardly used. Call Chubby.
~ Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
~ Open house: Body shapers toning salon. Free coffee and doughnuts.
~ Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
~ Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.
~ Snowblower for sale. Only used on snowy days.
~ Stock up and save. Limit one.
~ Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
~ Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated.
~ Wanted Hair-cutter: Excellent growth potential.
~ Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
~ We build bodies that last a lifetime.
~ We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
today'sTHOT============================
Q: What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an atheist?
A: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.
=======================================
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Tuesday, March 27, 2012
We knew it would get crazy, it just has: Cats and Cards fans tangle at dialysis center
Fight breaks out at dialysis center between UK and U of L fans
from The Courier-Journal
Police had to be called to Georgetown, Ky., dialysis clinic after a fight broke between two patients over Saturday’s Final Four match up between the University of Kentucky and University of Louisville basketball teams.
According to www.WKYT.com, officers were called to the Georgetown Dialysis Clinic after a Louisville fan who was waiting to be hooked up to a machine, struck a Kentucky fan who was already receiving treatment.
"He just happened to think U of L would beat UK and he started to run his mouth," dialysis patient Ed Wilson, a self-proclaimed die hard UK fan, told WKYT-TV. "That's what started it."
Charles Taylor, who admitted to hitting Wilson, said was waiting to get hooked up to a machine and "didn't talk to him (Wilson) about the ball game; I was talking to another guy about the game. He was meddling. And told me to shut up and gave me the finger."
That’s when Taylor told WKYT that he decided to get physical with Wilson.
"I wasn't gonna take no more from him," he said. "I went up to him and I hit him. Didn't hit him that hard, but I hit him."
By the time police arrived, the fight was over.
"I'm sorry it even happened," Wilson said. "Hopefully, he won't come at the same time as me anymore."
Georgetown Police say their case is now closed and they investigated it as harassment.
Wilson says he's not filing charges against Taylor, but he does hope the Cats win.
from The Courier-Journal
Police had to be called to Georgetown, Ky., dialysis clinic after a fight broke between two patients over Saturday’s Final Four match up between the University of Kentucky and University of Louisville basketball teams.
According to www.WKYT.com, officers were called to the Georgetown Dialysis Clinic after a Louisville fan who was waiting to be hooked up to a machine, struck a Kentucky fan who was already receiving treatment.
"He just happened to think U of L would beat UK and he started to run his mouth," dialysis patient Ed Wilson, a self-proclaimed die hard UK fan, told WKYT-TV. "That's what started it."
Charles Taylor, who admitted to hitting Wilson, said was waiting to get hooked up to a machine and "didn't talk to him (Wilson) about the ball game; I was talking to another guy about the game. He was meddling. And told me to shut up and gave me the finger."
That’s when Taylor told WKYT that he decided to get physical with Wilson.
"I wasn't gonna take no more from him," he said. "I went up to him and I hit him. Didn't hit him that hard, but I hit him."
By the time police arrived, the fight was over.
"I'm sorry it even happened," Wilson said. "Hopefully, he won't come at the same time as me anymore."
Georgetown Police say their case is now closed and they investigated it as harassment.
Wilson says he's not filing charges against Taylor, but he does hope the Cats win.
Four Catholic jokes
1. Cast the First Stone…
Jesus was walking along one day, when He came upon a group of people surrounding a lady of ill repute. It was obvious that the crowd was preparing to stone her, so Jesus made His now-famous statement, “Let the person who has no sin cast the first stone.”
The crowd was shamed and one by one began to turn away. All of a sudden, a lovely little woman made her way through the crowd. Finally getting to the front, she tossed a pebble towards the woman.
Jesus looks over and says, “I really hate it when you do that, Mom.”
2. Franciscans VS Jesuits
A Franciscan and Jesuit were debating which order was the greatest. So, they decided to ask for a sign from God. This is what they received falling down from heaven:
My sons,
Please stop bickering about such trivial matters,
Sincerely,
God, O.P
3. Dominicans VS Jesuits
Two men considering a religious vocation were having a conversation. “What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders? ” the one asked.
The second replied, “Well, they were both founded by Spaniards — St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits. They were also both founded to combat heresy — the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants.”
“What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?”
“Met any Albigensians lately?
4. A Priest and a Bus Driver Go to Heaven…
A priest and a bus driver both died and went to Heaven at the same time. They get to the pearly gates where Pope St. Peter greets them. He motions to the priest, and they both hop in a jeep and go out the back door. There are about 50 acres of rolling hills with a little cottage on the knoll.
St. Peter turns to the priest and says “This will be yours for eternity. A perfect little cottage, right next to lovely pond, a lush little garden, and a library full of books.”
The priest says, “Thank you so much. This I shall enjoy!” St. Peter drops off the priest, goes back to the pearly gates and motions to the bus driver.
They hop in a stretch limo and go out the front door. There are about 500 acres of land, with mountains and lakes and rivers. There is a huge 200-room castle on one of the mountains, and a wishing well that makes wishes come true. St. Peter says “This will be yours for eternity. You can live in that castle with servants to wait on you hand and foot, and you can have everything you want.”
The bus driver looks and St. Peter and says “Well, now, don’t think I’m not grateful, but why am I getting so much more than the priest?”
St. Peter just laughs and says “You brought more souls to Heaven! When the priest preached, everyone fell asleep. When you drove your bus, people prayed!”
OOPS ADS PLACED IN NEWSPAPERS Part 1
~ 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.
~ 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
~ Alzheimers center prepares for an affair to remember.
~ And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
~ Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
~ Christmas tag-sale: Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
~ Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
~ Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.
~ For Sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica 45 Volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
~ For sale: An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
~ Found: Dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile. Better be a reward!
~ Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
~ Georgia Peaches, California grown. 89cents/lb.
~ German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
~ Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
~ Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
~ Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
today'sTHOT============================
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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~ 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
~ Alzheimers center prepares for an affair to remember.
~ And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
~ Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
~ Christmas tag-sale: Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
~ Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
~ Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.
~ For Sale by owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica 45 Volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
~ For sale: An antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
~ Found: Dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out awhile. Better be a reward!
~ Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
~ Georgia Peaches, California grown. 89cents/lb.
~ German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
~ Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
~ Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
~ Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
today'sTHOT============================
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
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Real Men Support Pro Life
Simcha Fisher
Pennsylvania State Rep. Babette Joesephs says that female legislators who support pre-abortion ultrasound laws must be “men with breasts,” and not actually women. She said it twice during a rally organized to protest the bill: “I don’t understand it … I don’t believe they’re really women. … I believe they’re men with breasts.”
Pro-life news outlets are rightly responding with disgust, calling her remarks misogynistic; and so they are. The representative’s crass phrase, “men with breasts,” shows a level of contempt for women which is hard to countenance. In her view, woman are made of two things: breasts, and the freedom to kill.
But the thing that strikes me about her remarks is how anti-man they are—not just anti-pro-life-man, but anti-men-in-general. Calling your opponent “men with breasts” implies that all men are, by definition, the enemy. It’s like saying “the devil in disguise” or “a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” It assumes that the worst thing you can say about a woman is that she’s like a man.
Every once in a while, I do come across an anti-abortion man who is a true oppressor—who thinks that women are silly, uppity creatures who must be controlled, shamed, reminded daily of her own constitutional weakness and treachery. It happens so infrequently, though, that my first response is always to laugh. Who are these guys? What the heck do they see when they look into the mirror? Very often, their personalities and beliefs are so repellent that they’re single anyway, so their theories on how to control women remain in the theoretical real.
And how often have I met pro-life men who respect women, who care about their health, safety, and happiness, and listen to them, and are willing to be corrected if they’re mistaken when it comes to matters like pregnancy, childbirth, and female sexuality? Oh, eleven billion times. This number includes priests, married men, old men, traditionalists, up-and-comers, zealots, lukewarm nice guys, and so on. Pro-life is pro-woman.
Read more:
Pennsylvania State Rep. Babette Joesephs says that female legislators who support pre-abortion ultrasound laws must be “men with breasts,” and not actually women. She said it twice during a rally organized to protest the bill: “I don’t understand it … I don’t believe they’re really women. … I believe they’re men with breasts.”
Pro-life news outlets are rightly responding with disgust, calling her remarks misogynistic; and so they are. The representative’s crass phrase, “men with breasts,” shows a level of contempt for women which is hard to countenance. In her view, woman are made of two things: breasts, and the freedom to kill.
But the thing that strikes me about her remarks is how anti-man they are—not just anti-pro-life-man, but anti-men-in-general. Calling your opponent “men with breasts” implies that all men are, by definition, the enemy. It’s like saying “the devil in disguise” or “a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” It assumes that the worst thing you can say about a woman is that she’s like a man.
Every once in a while, I do come across an anti-abortion man who is a true oppressor—who thinks that women are silly, uppity creatures who must be controlled, shamed, reminded daily of her own constitutional weakness and treachery. It happens so infrequently, though, that my first response is always to laugh. Who are these guys? What the heck do they see when they look into the mirror? Very often, their personalities and beliefs are so repellent that they’re single anyway, so their theories on how to control women remain in the theoretical real.
And how often have I met pro-life men who respect women, who care about their health, safety, and happiness, and listen to them, and are willing to be corrected if they’re mistaken when it comes to matters like pregnancy, childbirth, and female sexuality? Oh, eleven billion times. This number includes priests, married men, old men, traditionalists, up-and-comers, zealots, lukewarm nice guys, and so on. Pro-life is pro-woman.
Read more:
Sunday, March 25, 2012
New Evangelization Tip: Smile...bring the message of the Gospel with joy
Two weeks ago, Archbishop Timothy Dolan of New York was made a cardinal of the church. He was asked by the pope to speak to the entire College of Cardinals the day before the ceremonies, a singular honor. The new cardinal spoke with conviction and humor on the theme of new evangelization.
The term “new evangelization” has been used frequently by recent pontiffs, especially Pope Paul VI, Pope John Paul II and now Pope Benedict XVI. It denotes efforts to bring the Gospel to non-Christian nations and peoples, but also — and more pointedly in our day — to reach out to peoples who have already received the Christian message but do not practice it. As Cardinal Dolan said, “The mission is not only to New Guinea but to New York.” The term includes also the idea that such evangelical efforts should be the responsibility of every member of the church, not some special group. As David Nodar has remarked, “The church teaches that she is missionary by her very nature; evangelization is a duty of every Christian.”
In 2010, Pope Benedict created a new Vatican office, the “Pontifical Council for Promoting New Evangelization.” Its purpose is to work with bishops to promote evangelizing efforts to meet the growing secularization occurring in the world, especially in nations of Europe and elsewhere that have been traditionally Christian, but, as Pope Benedict has written, “vast areas of which the faith is in danger of dying out like a flame which no longer has fuel.”
Cardinal Dolan, in his talk to the Cardinals, spoke of various ways, simple ways, according to which the call to evangelization might be carried out. His remarks ought to be taken to heart by all Catholics.
He noted first of all that the major fight is against “secularism,” the conviction that religion and secular pursuits should not be mixed together, that God should be effectively absent from human life, that lives should be lived (at least public lives) as though God did not exist.
But — and this was the cardinal’s message — secularists too, even unconsciously, are seeking God. The desire for the divine is written into human nature. Every human being possesses a spark of interest in the beyond.
And in our evangelizing efforts we should never forget this. We should be convinced that atheists, agnostics, radical secularists all deep down are searching for the transcendent God. Jesus in the New Testament one day was told, “All the people are looking for you,” Cardinal Dolan remarks, “They still are.”
The cardinal suggests too that our efforts should be done with confidence. “Be not afraid” is one of the most used exhortations in the Scriptures and should become our mantra.
We do not work alone. God is with us. And the cardinal adds that we should remember that we are not first of all to offer “propositions” to people but a person — Jesus. We should not try to convince people by preaching syllogisms but by preaching the Son of God. Love of a person is the center of evangelization.
Another important thing, says Cardinal Dolan, is that we are called in our evangelizing efforts to combat “catechetical illiteracy.” Many of the Christian peoples who have left the church or who remain with little conviction have not received much education about what the belief in Jesus entails. Cardinal George Pell of Australia has remarked, “It is not so much that our people have lost their faith, but they barely had it to begin with, and if they did, it was so vapid that it was easily taken away.”
Now comes perhaps the easiest thing to do: Smile. Cardinal Dolan quotes Leon Bloy, “Joy is the infallible sign of God’s presence.” And it is with joy that we should bring the message of the Gospel to the people of our time; with a smile not a frown.
And this becomes natural if the new evangelization is about love. Cardinal Dolan said that recently the Catholic bishop of Itanagar in northeast India, John Thomas Kattrukudiyll, whose diocese registers 10,000 adult converts every year, explained the success, “We present God as a loving father and people see the church loving them.”
The final reflection of the cardinal was about “blood.” The red of the cardinals’ hats and ceremonial robes is a reminder that the princes of the church should be ready to shed their blood for the faith. “We are ‘scarlet audio-visual aids’ for our brothers and sisters, called to be ready to suffer and die for Jesus,” said Cardinal Dolan. And every Catholic should be ready to do the same.
These practical words of the cardinal ought to resonate in our hearts.
Father John A. Leies, S.M, STD, is president emeritus of St. Mary’s University and was formerly head of the Theology Department there.
The term “new evangelization” has been used frequently by recent pontiffs, especially Pope Paul VI, Pope John Paul II and now Pope Benedict XVI. It denotes efforts to bring the Gospel to non-Christian nations and peoples, but also — and more pointedly in our day — to reach out to peoples who have already received the Christian message but do not practice it. As Cardinal Dolan said, “The mission is not only to New Guinea but to New York.” The term includes also the idea that such evangelical efforts should be the responsibility of every member of the church, not some special group. As David Nodar has remarked, “The church teaches that she is missionary by her very nature; evangelization is a duty of every Christian.”
In 2010, Pope Benedict created a new Vatican office, the “Pontifical Council for Promoting New Evangelization.” Its purpose is to work with bishops to promote evangelizing efforts to meet the growing secularization occurring in the world, especially in nations of Europe and elsewhere that have been traditionally Christian, but, as Pope Benedict has written, “vast areas of which the faith is in danger of dying out like a flame which no longer has fuel.”
Cardinal Dolan, in his talk to the Cardinals, spoke of various ways, simple ways, according to which the call to evangelization might be carried out. His remarks ought to be taken to heart by all Catholics.
He noted first of all that the major fight is against “secularism,” the conviction that religion and secular pursuits should not be mixed together, that God should be effectively absent from human life, that lives should be lived (at least public lives) as though God did not exist.
But — and this was the cardinal’s message — secularists too, even unconsciously, are seeking God. The desire for the divine is written into human nature. Every human being possesses a spark of interest in the beyond.
And in our evangelizing efforts we should never forget this. We should be convinced that atheists, agnostics, radical secularists all deep down are searching for the transcendent God. Jesus in the New Testament one day was told, “All the people are looking for you,” Cardinal Dolan remarks, “They still are.”
The cardinal suggests too that our efforts should be done with confidence. “Be not afraid” is one of the most used exhortations in the Scriptures and should become our mantra.
We do not work alone. God is with us. And the cardinal adds that we should remember that we are not first of all to offer “propositions” to people but a person — Jesus. We should not try to convince people by preaching syllogisms but by preaching the Son of God. Love of a person is the center of evangelization.
Another important thing, says Cardinal Dolan, is that we are called in our evangelizing efforts to combat “catechetical illiteracy.” Many of the Christian peoples who have left the church or who remain with little conviction have not received much education about what the belief in Jesus entails. Cardinal George Pell of Australia has remarked, “It is not so much that our people have lost their faith, but they barely had it to begin with, and if they did, it was so vapid that it was easily taken away.”
Now comes perhaps the easiest thing to do: Smile. Cardinal Dolan quotes Leon Bloy, “Joy is the infallible sign of God’s presence.” And it is with joy that we should bring the message of the Gospel to the people of our time; with a smile not a frown.
And this becomes natural if the new evangelization is about love. Cardinal Dolan said that recently the Catholic bishop of Itanagar in northeast India, John Thomas Kattrukudiyll, whose diocese registers 10,000 adult converts every year, explained the success, “We present God as a loving father and people see the church loving them.”
The final reflection of the cardinal was about “blood.” The red of the cardinals’ hats and ceremonial robes is a reminder that the princes of the church should be ready to shed their blood for the faith. “We are ‘scarlet audio-visual aids’ for our brothers and sisters, called to be ready to suffer and die for Jesus,” said Cardinal Dolan. And every Catholic should be ready to do the same.
These practical words of the cardinal ought to resonate in our hearts.
Father John A. Leies, S.M, STD, is president emeritus of St. Mary’s University and was formerly head of the Theology Department there.
Cards vs Cats...Be ready, Bourbon Street
John Clay, Herald-Leader
Not even Bourbon Street will know what hit it.
Welcome to what promises to be the wildest, craziest, most hyped, most exciting, most nerve-wracking and sleepless six days leading up to the biggest, most-anticipated sporting event in the history of our little commonwealth.
For a state that lives for basketball, this is a dream and a nightmare all at the same time.
This is Kentucky vs. Louisville in the Final Four for the first time ever.
This is the top-dog Cats, the NCAA Tournament's overall No. 1 seed, winners of the South Regional by beating Baylor 82-70 on Sunday, versus the underdog Cards, No. 4 seed and surprise 72-68 West Regional winner over Florida on Saturday, squaring off in the Big Easy for a berth in the national championship game.
This is something that comes along once in, well, never.
It's UK versus U of L, the state's two biggest rivals on the sport's biggest stage.
It's John Caliapri and Rick Pitino, former coaching friends, now, well, current coaching competitors.
It's one passionately insane fan base against another passionately insane fan base, that happens to reside within the same borders.
"It's basketball," said Calipari on Sunday as if this were a mere sporting event.
No, it's Kentucky and Louisville basketball.
Oh, UK and U of L have played in the NCAA Tournament before, in the 1959 Mideast Regional semifinals (Louisville won), in the 1983 Mideast Regional finals (Louisville won) and in the 1984 Mideast second round (Kentucky won).
They've never met in the Final Four, however, though they came close twice.
In 1986, Louisville beat Auburn to win the West Regional, but Kentucky lost to LSU in the finals of the Mideast Regional.
In 1975, the two actually came within a whisker of playing for the national championship when Kentucky beat Syracuse in the national semifinal in San Diego, then Louisville lost a heartbreaker to UCLA in the second game that day.
Now, finally, everything has fallen into place.
Louisville shrugged off its late-season struggles to become the tournament's hot team, winning the Big East Tournament title then knocking off No. 1 seed Michigan State in the West semifinal before rallying from a 11-point second-half deficit to clip Florida in the finals.
Kentucky has taken a more dominant path, consensus No. 1 in the polls, a 36-2 team deemed the Big Dance favorite the moment they announced the draw Selection Sunday.
The Cats gave no reason for anyone to think any differently this weekend in the Georgia Dome.
[...]
There was an uh-oh moment in the second half when freshman center and national player of the year Anthony Davis banged knees with a Baylor Bear and was writhing on the floor in pain. But he returned to the game and pronounced himself fine.
"I'm not going to miss the next game," Davis deadpanned.
Nor will anyone from Paducah to Paintsville, even if post-game Saturday, Kentucky's players were trying to shrug off the rematch with a "just another game" mantra that no one was buying.
A day earlier in Phoenix, Pitino couldn't help but toss a verbal salvo at Big Brother by saying Kentucky fans "would have nervous breakdown if they lose to us" and that they would have to "raise the fences on the bridges."
"I don't know what that means," responded Mitch Barnhart, but the UK athletics director did add, "I think it's great for the state."
Treated with shared respect and pride, it will be insanely great for the commonwealth as it makes its way to Louisiana for that 6:09 p.m. tipoff in the Superdome.
Be ready, Bourbon Street.
And the last one to leave Kentucky, turn out the lights.
Read entire article here
Not even Bourbon Street will know what hit it.
Welcome to what promises to be the wildest, craziest, most hyped, most exciting, most nerve-wracking and sleepless six days leading up to the biggest, most-anticipated sporting event in the history of our little commonwealth.
For a state that lives for basketball, this is a dream and a nightmare all at the same time.
This is Kentucky vs. Louisville in the Final Four for the first time ever.
This is the top-dog Cats, the NCAA Tournament's overall No. 1 seed, winners of the South Regional by beating Baylor 82-70 on Sunday, versus the underdog Cards, No. 4 seed and surprise 72-68 West Regional winner over Florida on Saturday, squaring off in the Big Easy for a berth in the national championship game.
This is something that comes along once in, well, never.
It's UK versus U of L, the state's two biggest rivals on the sport's biggest stage.
It's John Caliapri and Rick Pitino, former coaching friends, now, well, current coaching competitors.
It's one passionately insane fan base against another passionately insane fan base, that happens to reside within the same borders.
"It's basketball," said Calipari on Sunday as if this were a mere sporting event.
No, it's Kentucky and Louisville basketball.
Oh, UK and U of L have played in the NCAA Tournament before, in the 1959 Mideast Regional semifinals (Louisville won), in the 1983 Mideast Regional finals (Louisville won) and in the 1984 Mideast second round (Kentucky won).
They've never met in the Final Four, however, though they came close twice.
In 1986, Louisville beat Auburn to win the West Regional, but Kentucky lost to LSU in the finals of the Mideast Regional.
In 1975, the two actually came within a whisker of playing for the national championship when Kentucky beat Syracuse in the national semifinal in San Diego, then Louisville lost a heartbreaker to UCLA in the second game that day.
Now, finally, everything has fallen into place.
Louisville shrugged off its late-season struggles to become the tournament's hot team, winning the Big East Tournament title then knocking off No. 1 seed Michigan State in the West semifinal before rallying from a 11-point second-half deficit to clip Florida in the finals.
Kentucky has taken a more dominant path, consensus No. 1 in the polls, a 36-2 team deemed the Big Dance favorite the moment they announced the draw Selection Sunday.
The Cats gave no reason for anyone to think any differently this weekend in the Georgia Dome.
[...]
There was an uh-oh moment in the second half when freshman center and national player of the year Anthony Davis banged knees with a Baylor Bear and was writhing on the floor in pain. But he returned to the game and pronounced himself fine.
"I'm not going to miss the next game," Davis deadpanned.
Nor will anyone from Paducah to Paintsville, even if post-game Saturday, Kentucky's players were trying to shrug off the rematch with a "just another game" mantra that no one was buying.
A day earlier in Phoenix, Pitino couldn't help but toss a verbal salvo at Big Brother by saying Kentucky fans "would have nervous breakdown if they lose to us" and that they would have to "raise the fences on the bridges."
"I don't know what that means," responded Mitch Barnhart, but the UK athletics director did add, "I think it's great for the state."
Treated with shared respect and pride, it will be insanely great for the commonwealth as it makes its way to Louisiana for that 6:09 p.m. tipoff in the Superdome.
Be ready, Bourbon Street.
And the last one to leave Kentucky, turn out the lights.
Read entire article here
Saturday, March 24, 2012
March 25: the Solemnity of the Annunciation
The feast of the Annunciation, now recognized as a solemnity, goes back to the fourth or fifth century. Its central focus is the Incarnation: God has become one of us. From all eternity God had decided that the Second Person of the Blessed Trinity should become human. Now, as Luke 1:26-38 tells us, the decision is being realized. The God-Man embraces all humanity, indeed all creation, to bring it to God in one great act of love. Because human beings have rejected God, Jesus will accept a life of suffering and an agonizing death: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
Mary has an important role to play in God’s plan. From all eternity God destined her to be the mother of Jesus and closely related to him in the creation and redemption of the world. We could say that God’s decrees of creation and redemption are joined in the decree of Incarnation. Because Mary is God’s instrument in the Incarnation, she has a role to play with Jesus in creation and redemption. It is a God-given role. It is God’s grace from beginning to end. Mary becomes the eminent figure she is only by God’s grace. She is the empty space where God could act. Everything she is she owes to the Trinity.
She is the virgin-mother who fulfills Isaiah 7:14 in a way that Isaiah could not have imagined. She is united with her son in carrying out the will of God (Psalm 40:8-9; Hebrews 10:7-9; Luke 1:38).
Together with Jesus, the privileged and graced Mary is the link between heaven and earth. She is the human being who best, after Jesus, exemplifies the possibilities of human existence. She received into her lowliness the infinite love of God. She shows how an ordinary human being can reflect God in the ordinary circumstances of life. She exemplifies what the Church and every member of the Church is meant to become. She is the ultimate product of the creative and redemptive power of God. She manifests what the Incarnation is meant to accomplish for all of us.
Comment:
Sometimes spiritual writers are accused of putting Mary on a pedestal and thereby discouraging ordinary humans from imitating her. Perhaps such an observation is misguided. God did put Mary on a pedestal and has put all human beings on a pedestal. We have scarcely begun to realize the magnificence of divine grace, the wonder of God’s freely given love. The marvel of Mary—even in the midst of her very ordinary life—is God’s shout to us to wake up to the marvelous creatures that we all are by divine design.
Quote:
“Enriched from the first instant of her conception with the splendor of an entirely unique holiness, the virgin of Nazareth is hailed by the heralding angel, by divine command, as ‘full of grace’ (cf. Luke 1:28). To the heavenly messenger she replies: ‘Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to thy word’ (Luke 1:38). Thus the daughter of Adam, Mary, consenting to the word of God, became the Mother of Jesus. Committing herself wholeheartedly and impeded by no sin to God’s saving will, she devoted herself totally, as a handmaid of the Lord, to the person and work of her Son, under and with him, serving the mystery of redemption, by the grace of Almighty God” (Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, 56).
Mary has an important role to play in God’s plan. From all eternity God destined her to be the mother of Jesus and closely related to him in the creation and redemption of the world. We could say that God’s decrees of creation and redemption are joined in the decree of Incarnation. Because Mary is God’s instrument in the Incarnation, she has a role to play with Jesus in creation and redemption. It is a God-given role. It is God’s grace from beginning to end. Mary becomes the eminent figure she is only by God’s grace. She is the empty space where God could act. Everything she is she owes to the Trinity.
She is the virgin-mother who fulfills Isaiah 7:14 in a way that Isaiah could not have imagined. She is united with her son in carrying out the will of God (Psalm 40:8-9; Hebrews 10:7-9; Luke 1:38).
Together with Jesus, the privileged and graced Mary is the link between heaven and earth. She is the human being who best, after Jesus, exemplifies the possibilities of human existence. She received into her lowliness the infinite love of God. She shows how an ordinary human being can reflect God in the ordinary circumstances of life. She exemplifies what the Church and every member of the Church is meant to become. She is the ultimate product of the creative and redemptive power of God. She manifests what the Incarnation is meant to accomplish for all of us.
Comment:
Sometimes spiritual writers are accused of putting Mary on a pedestal and thereby discouraging ordinary humans from imitating her. Perhaps such an observation is misguided. God did put Mary on a pedestal and has put all human beings on a pedestal. We have scarcely begun to realize the magnificence of divine grace, the wonder of God’s freely given love. The marvel of Mary—even in the midst of her very ordinary life—is God’s shout to us to wake up to the marvelous creatures that we all are by divine design.
Quote:
“Enriched from the first instant of her conception with the splendor of an entirely unique holiness, the virgin of Nazareth is hailed by the heralding angel, by divine command, as ‘full of grace’ (cf. Luke 1:28). To the heavenly messenger she replies: ‘Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to thy word’ (Luke 1:38). Thus the daughter of Adam, Mary, consenting to the word of God, became the Mother of Jesus. Committing herself wholeheartedly and impeded by no sin to God’s saving will, she devoted herself totally, as a handmaid of the Lord, to the person and work of her Son, under and with him, serving the mystery of redemption, by the grace of Almighty God” (Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, 56).
Friday, March 23, 2012
TOP HANDY ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION
~ Trust me. I do this all the time.
~ Oh, I was absent that day.
~ Gee, I mailed it yesterday. It should be there by the end of the week.
~ That? I had it done when I was in boot camp / college / love - stupid, huh?
~ I don't know, I've just always had a way with people / animals / machines.
~ Hmmm, can you spell that?
~ I don't think I'm ready to make that kind of a commitment.
AND THE NUMBER ONE HANDY ANSWER to ALMOST EVERY QUESTION?
~ No.
today'sTHOT============================
I've gone away to find myself. Should I return before I get back, please keep me here.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
~ Oh, I was absent that day.
~ Gee, I mailed it yesterday. It should be there by the end of the week.
~ That? I had it done when I was in boot camp / college / love - stupid, huh?
~ I don't know, I've just always had a way with people / animals / machines.
~ Hmmm, can you spell that?
~ I don't think I'm ready to make that kind of a commitment.
AND THE NUMBER ONE HANDY ANSWER to ALMOST EVERY QUESTION?
~ No.
today'sTHOT============================
I've gone away to find myself. Should I return before I get back, please keep me here.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Thursday, March 22, 2012
From Catholic blogs: The Gift of the Feminine Genius...and more
The Gift of the Feminine Genius...
Donald Cardinal Wuerl
For the month of March, the Holy Father’s general intention is that the whole world may recognize the contribution of women to the development of society. The liturgical calendar for this month celebrates the courage and fidelity of women. In the first week, the Church celebrates the feast of the martyrdom of Perpetua and Felicity and on March 26...
Reflections on the readings for the upcoming Fifth Sunday of Lent...
Scott Hahn
Our readings today are filled with anticipation. The days are coming, Jeremiah prophesies in today’s First Reading. The hour has come, Jesus says in the Gospel. The new covenant that God promised to Jeremiah is made in the “hour” of Jesus - in His death, resurrection, and ascension to the Father’s right hand.
What is sloth? It’s a bit more subtle than laziness...
Msgr. Charles Pope
One of the more misunderstood of the Cardinal Sins is sloth. This is because most see it merely as laziness. But there is more to sloth than that. Lets take a moment and consider some aspects of the Cardinal sin we call in English, Sloth. The Greek word we translate as sloth is ἀκηδία [...
This is what daily Mass can do to a three-year-old...
Brandon Vogt
Here's (Father) Isaiah enjoying his big 3-year-old birthday gift. Sorry about 0:08 where he's unsure whether to celebrate versus populum or not. I hope nobody forwards this to Fr. Z. And of course please excuse the Doctor Mickey Mouse missal.
Yet another former Anglican bishop becomes a Catholic deacon for the Ordinariate...
Pro-life film October Baby has its problems, but it's probably the best-crafted Christian-produced film I’ve seen since Bella...
Steven Greydanus
When a pro-life drama opens with a troubled, distracted teenage heroine struggling to focus, falling apart under pressure, and ultimately collapsing before dismayed onlookers, it might be natural to wonder if she might be pregnant and perhaps contemplating an abortion, like the wounded female lead in Bella.
Donald Cardinal Wuerl
For the month of March, the Holy Father’s general intention is that the whole world may recognize the contribution of women to the development of society. The liturgical calendar for this month celebrates the courage and fidelity of women. In the first week, the Church celebrates the feast of the martyrdom of Perpetua and Felicity and on March 26...
Reflections on the readings for the upcoming Fifth Sunday of Lent...
Scott Hahn
Our readings today are filled with anticipation. The days are coming, Jeremiah prophesies in today’s First Reading. The hour has come, Jesus says in the Gospel. The new covenant that God promised to Jeremiah is made in the “hour” of Jesus - in His death, resurrection, and ascension to the Father’s right hand.
What is sloth? It’s a bit more subtle than laziness...
Msgr. Charles Pope
One of the more misunderstood of the Cardinal Sins is sloth. This is because most see it merely as laziness. But there is more to sloth than that. Lets take a moment and consider some aspects of the Cardinal sin we call in English, Sloth. The Greek word we translate as sloth is ἀκηδία [...
This is what daily Mass can do to a three-year-old...
Brandon Vogt
Here's (Father) Isaiah enjoying his big 3-year-old birthday gift. Sorry about 0:08 where he's unsure whether to celebrate versus populum or not. I hope nobody forwards this to Fr. Z. And of course please excuse the Doctor Mickey Mouse missal.
Yet another former Anglican bishop becomes a Catholic deacon for the Ordinariate...
Pro-life film October Baby has its problems, but it's probably the best-crafted Christian-produced film I’ve seen since Bella...
Steven Greydanus
When a pro-life drama opens with a troubled, distracted teenage heroine struggling to focus, falling apart under pressure, and ultimately collapsing before dismayed onlookers, it might be natural to wonder if she might be pregnant and perhaps contemplating an abortion, like the wounded female lead in Bella.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Louisvile native Bishop William Lori Named Archbishop of Baltimore
From its beginnings in the lone American colony founded by Catholics, the Premier See of Baltimore and its illustrious occupants have stood as a preeminent icon of religious freedom in these States. And now, the golden thread of that 223-year line is set to continue with particular vigor in the choice of its 16th Archbishop.
Yesterday Pope Benedict named Bishop William Lori, 60 -- leader of Connecticut's Bridgeport diocese since 2001 and Louisville, Kentucky native-- as the next head of the nation's oldest local church, first shepherded for 18 years by John Carroll, a cousin of the lone Catholic signer of the Declaration of Independence, and founder of the nation's first Catholic university at Georgetown shortly after his appointment in 1789.
In the post whose holder remains, by Roman decree, the "first among equals" of the American bishops, the Indiana native would succeed Cardinal Edwin O'Brien, who the pontiff named as Grand Master of the Equestrian Order of the Holy Sepulchre last August. O'Brien remains Apostolic Administrator of the 550,000-member archdiocese until his successor's installation, and the new cardinal will maintain his American base there afterward as the city's archbishop-emeritus.
Cited as a top prospect for several prior metropolitan openings, especially heavy speculation began to tip Lori for the Baltimore nod within weeks of O'Brien's appointment to the Rome-based post overseeing the thousand year-old body responsible for supporting the church's works in the Holy Land.
Ordained a priest for the archdiocese of Washington in 1977 and an auxiliary there in 1995, the theologian-prelate is an alumnus of Mount St Mary's in Emmitsburg, one of two diocesan seminaries in the Baltimore church -- a unique attribute among the nation's 197 dioceses. The chief protege of the capital's late Cardinal James Hickey (who ordained him a bishop at 43), Lori has come into an even brighter spotlight over recent months as the appointed head of the bishops' newly-created ad hoc Committee on Religious Liberty, and thus the quarterback of the church's recent surge against the contraceptive mandate of the Federal health-care reform law.
While the skirmishes have included Lori's penning a widely-circulated swipe at America magazine following an editorial in the Jesuit journal lamenting the bishops' strategy on the issue, in his most recent comments on the hierarchy's tense face-off with the White House, Lori said he found a meeting last week with Obama administration officials "distressing" given a stance that, he said, made the policy appear "non-negotiable" and "here to stay."
The tenor of the sit-down "does not bode well for future discussions," the bishop told Catholic News Service.
In Baltimore's case, however, the liberty concerns aren't limited to Washington. A concerted religious freedom push by the Maryland church failed on the floor of its state legislature last month, as the cradle of American Catholicism became the seventh US jurisdiction to legalize same-sex marriage. With its enactment, the bill's lead champion, Democratic Gov. Martin O'Malley, became the nation's fifth Catholic chief executive to sign full recognition of gay unions into law. (For purposes of context, Connecticut's Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage into law in 2008.)
As a binding referendum on the issue is expected to be held in November -- prior to the move's entering into force next year -- any new archbishop will arrive to find his tenure's first major battle already lined up.
In addition to the key conference slot, Lori has served as Supreme Chaplain of the Knights of Columbus since 2005. He was likewise chair of the Board of Trustees of his alma mater, the Catholic University of America, from 2003 to 2009.
Lastly, for a diocese that revels in its proud history, there is a precedent to the reported move -- in 1961, the founding prelate of the Bridgeport church, Baltimore native Lawrence Shehan, returned home to become the 12th Archbishop. A leading ally of Pope Paul VI in advocating the agenda of Vatican II, Shehan was elevated to the College of Cardinals in 1965, the first American given the red hat by Papa Montini.
To date, two of Lori's three predecessors in the wealthy diocese covering Connecticut's Fairfield County were promoted to major archdioceses: besides Shehan, Lori himself was named to Bridgeport following the 2000 transfer of then-Bishop Edward Egan to New York.
h/t Whispers in the Loggia
March 21: World Down Syndrome Awareness Day 2012
A Few Make a Rare Few Rarer: Reflections on World Down Syndrome Day « Public Discourse by Mark W. Leach
Unless regulations and laws are changed, there will be fewer people with Down syndrome to celebrate on future World Down Syndrome Days, making this year the high water mark of lives with Down syndrome.
In 2011, the United Nations passed a resolution formally recognizing today, March 21, as World Down Syndrome Day (WDSD). This past weekend, my family attended a potluck for parents of children up to age five and then attended two birthday parties for friends we had met at one of those potlucks years ago. A rare few will make these types of weekends even rarer for future families.
The most recent news about Down syndrome, unfortunately, has been the headlines about “wrongful birth.” On March 9, 2012, an Oregon jury awarded Ariel and Deborah Levy $2.9 million against Legacy Health System. Their claim: that but for Legacy’s negligence in conducting prenatal testing, the Levys swore under oath that they would have aborted their daughter—whom they say they dearly love—because she was born with Down syndrome, making her birth wrongful. The reporting politely characterized this testimony as “awkward,” but it is probably true.
The Levys aggressively pursued prenatal testing. Deborah Levy underwent the riskiest prenatal diagnostic test: chorionic villus sampling. Of all forms of prenatal testing, this first-trimester procedure has the highest risk of miscarriage. While many opt for prenatal testing in order to be informed and to prepare for the birth of their child, undergoing the earliest available prenatal diagnostic test makes it more likely than not that the Levys were at least considering abortion if their daughter’s cells showed the triplicate of the 21st chromosome, the genetic cause of Down syndrome (and why 3/21 was chosen as World Down Syndrome Day). So, it is probably true that they planned on aborting their daughter.
It is also probably true that the Levys do dearly love their now four-year-old daughter. Studies have shown that parents and siblings overwhelmingly report loving their family member with Down syndrome and that individuals with Down syndrome similarly report being happy with their lives. However, it does not sound as though their love for their daughter was the focus of the Levys’ testimony.
Instead, in order to prove that they have been damaged by missing the opportunity to abort their daughter, the Levys testified about their fears of having to provide for their daughter over her lifetime. Experts further predicted that this pre-schooler probably would not be able to live independently or earn a living, although there is, of course, no way of knowing whether she would have joined the ever-increasing number of individuals with Down syndrome who both work and live in their own homes. In post-trial comments, jurors, who refused to be named, expressed pity for the Levys.
And so, twelve people issued a multi-million-dollar verdict that probably will result in medical providers practicing defensive medicine in order to avoid wrongful birth lawsuits. Prenatal testing will be aggressively offered, repeatedly, with reminders of the window closing on the chance to have an abortion. By doing so, the medical providers will then have a defense should any patient end up actually giving birth to a child with Down syndrome and sue them in order to potentially receive millions of dollars. Indeed, this is part of the reason why patients are offered prenatal testing for Down syndrome in the first place.
[...]
For World Down Syndrome Day 2012, I wish I could write more on the gifts that our fellow citizens with Down syndrome give to their families, friends, community and the world. The fact of the matter is, though, that unless regulations and laws are changed, there will be fewer people with Down syndrome to celebrate on future World Down Syndrome Days, making this year the high water mark of lives with Down syndrome. Because these individuals should be celebrated, they deserve more and better representation by those who have sworn oaths to their medical profession to do no harm, and by others who have sworn to provide equal justice for all, and to promote the general welfare to ourselves and our posterity.
Mark W. Leach is an attorney from Louisville, Kentucky, and a Master of Arts in bioethics candidate.
Read entire article here....
Unless regulations and laws are changed, there will be fewer people with Down syndrome to celebrate on future World Down Syndrome Days, making this year the high water mark of lives with Down syndrome.
In 2011, the United Nations passed a resolution formally recognizing today, March 21, as World Down Syndrome Day (WDSD). This past weekend, my family attended a potluck for parents of children up to age five and then attended two birthday parties for friends we had met at one of those potlucks years ago. A rare few will make these types of weekends even rarer for future families.
The most recent news about Down syndrome, unfortunately, has been the headlines about “wrongful birth.” On March 9, 2012, an Oregon jury awarded Ariel and Deborah Levy $2.9 million against Legacy Health System. Their claim: that but for Legacy’s negligence in conducting prenatal testing, the Levys swore under oath that they would have aborted their daughter—whom they say they dearly love—because she was born with Down syndrome, making her birth wrongful. The reporting politely characterized this testimony as “awkward,” but it is probably true.
The Levys aggressively pursued prenatal testing. Deborah Levy underwent the riskiest prenatal diagnostic test: chorionic villus sampling. Of all forms of prenatal testing, this first-trimester procedure has the highest risk of miscarriage. While many opt for prenatal testing in order to be informed and to prepare for the birth of their child, undergoing the earliest available prenatal diagnostic test makes it more likely than not that the Levys were at least considering abortion if their daughter’s cells showed the triplicate of the 21st chromosome, the genetic cause of Down syndrome (and why 3/21 was chosen as World Down Syndrome Day). So, it is probably true that they planned on aborting their daughter.
It is also probably true that the Levys do dearly love their now four-year-old daughter. Studies have shown that parents and siblings overwhelmingly report loving their family member with Down syndrome and that individuals with Down syndrome similarly report being happy with their lives. However, it does not sound as though their love for their daughter was the focus of the Levys’ testimony.
Instead, in order to prove that they have been damaged by missing the opportunity to abort their daughter, the Levys testified about their fears of having to provide for their daughter over her lifetime. Experts further predicted that this pre-schooler probably would not be able to live independently or earn a living, although there is, of course, no way of knowing whether she would have joined the ever-increasing number of individuals with Down syndrome who both work and live in their own homes. In post-trial comments, jurors, who refused to be named, expressed pity for the Levys.
And so, twelve people issued a multi-million-dollar verdict that probably will result in medical providers practicing defensive medicine in order to avoid wrongful birth lawsuits. Prenatal testing will be aggressively offered, repeatedly, with reminders of the window closing on the chance to have an abortion. By doing so, the medical providers will then have a defense should any patient end up actually giving birth to a child with Down syndrome and sue them in order to potentially receive millions of dollars. Indeed, this is part of the reason why patients are offered prenatal testing for Down syndrome in the first place.
[...]
For World Down Syndrome Day 2012, I wish I could write more on the gifts that our fellow citizens with Down syndrome give to their families, friends, community and the world. The fact of the matter is, though, that unless regulations and laws are changed, there will be fewer people with Down syndrome to celebrate on future World Down Syndrome Days, making this year the high water mark of lives with Down syndrome. Because these individuals should be celebrated, they deserve more and better representation by those who have sworn oaths to their medical profession to do no harm, and by others who have sworn to provide equal justice for all, and to promote the general welfare to ourselves and our posterity.
Mark W. Leach is an attorney from Louisville, Kentucky, and a Master of Arts in bioethics candidate.
Read entire article here....
Love illumines life
Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
- Martin Luther King Jr.
Trash funny
My wife tells me that our children are referred to as "Digital Natives"
since they will not remember a time in their lives prior to the internet,
iPhones, touch screens, or wifi.
Confirming evidence: Yesterday my 4-year-old daughter went to throw
something away in the trash can and found it to be too full. She approached
me and said, "Daddy, you need to delete the trash."
[forwarded by Sharon Beaird]
today'sTHOT============================
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
since they will not remember a time in their lives prior to the internet,
iPhones, touch screens, or wifi.
Confirming evidence: Yesterday my 4-year-old daughter went to throw
something away in the trash can and found it to be too full. She approached
me and said, "Daddy, you need to delete the trash."
[forwarded by Sharon Beaird]
today'sTHOT============================
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Hey Catholics! Apps you should consider for your phone...many are free!
Is it just me or does anyone else think it odd that Apple uses for its logo the bitten apple, a symbol of humanity’s Fall? Such weighty questions are more the ken of saintlier minds than mine but, regardless of the answer, I won’t be giving up my iPhone any time soon. I don’t revere the memory of Steve Jobs and I’ve never owned an Apple product in my life before my iPhone purchase.
I am decidedly and unapologetically a PC man but like any red-blooded man I love electronics. Portability and accessibility are my mantras. I’ve always have been very anti-Luddite in my approach to life and that spills over into my faith. Fr Benedict Groeschel was proud to tell me he had never once used a computer in his life but Sister Mary Gregory, my first teacher, who is now 100 years old, was annoyed whenever she encountered younger people (ie, people in their 50s) who still didn’t have email accounts.
“What are they waiting for?” she once asked me. “They won’t need them after the eschaton!”
With the introduction of the iPhone has come a flood of apps (short for software applications). These are tiny programmes that run on a smartphone allowing you to keep your grocery shopping straight, schedule your appointments and settle pub bets before a donnybrook erupts.
Among this explosion of apps are a surprising number made for the discerning Catholic and those discerning whether to become Catholic. Many of them are free while most of the others cost a pound or less.
The free ones often have a sponsor’s banner popping up every now and again but that’s what keeps the app free for users. It’s easy to ignore considering what you’re getting for free. Many of the apps listed below are also available for the Android and Windows system and other platforms as well but iPhone controls the most possibilities.
Click here to see apps you might consider downloading...
The History of the Stations of the Cross
By Marshall Taylor
No doubt, the Blessed Mother and the Apostles held the sites of our Lord's sorrowful passion in esteem. We might even think of the Blessed Virgin going to visit the places where she met Christ on the way to Calvary and even praying at the very hill of our redemption.
Early Christians in the Holy Land remained devoted to these various stations. The stairs and praetorium where Christ was tried by Pontius Pilate was well known as was the place of our Lord's Crucifixion and Resurrection. Pilgrims coming from the West desired to see these places and desired to know how Christ traveled from the place of His unjust condemnation to His Crucifixion - the Via Dolorosa or Via Sacra. The Stations of the Cross, then, have their origin in the actual locations in Jerusalem.
Pilgrims wishing to bring this moving devotion home with them. In the 400s, Saint Petronius erected a series of chapels dedicated to the important shrines of Jerusalem in Bologna, Italy. During the Crusades, when pilgrimages and travels to the Holy Land resumed, there was a renewed interest among Europeans in the Via Sacra. By the 11th century, pilgrims had popularized the devotion. The Franciscans, who were granted administration of the Christian holy places in Jerusalem in 1342, increased its popularity.
In the 1400s, the Stations of the Cross became extremely popular in Europe; however, they were usually an series of outdoor shrines.
In 1686, Pope Innocent XI granted to the Franciscans the right to erect Stations of the Cross within their churches. It was only as late as 1862 that the right erect the Stations of the Cross without a Franciscan was extended to bishops throughout the Catholic Church.
Today, the faithful receive a plenary indulgence (with the usual conditions) for making the Stations of the Cross. You can find the exact details from the official Enchiridion below.
63. Exercise of the Way of the Cross (Viae Crucis exercitium)
A plenary indulgence is granted to the faithful, who make the pious exercise of the Way of the Cross.
In the pious exercise of the Way of the Cross we recall anew the sufferings, which the divine Redeemer endured, while going from the praetorium of Pilate, where he was condemned to death, to the mount of Calvary, where he died on the cross for our salvation.
The gaining of the plenary indulgence is regulated by the following norms:
The pious exercise must be made before stations of the Way of the Cross legitimately erected.
For the erection of the Way of the Cross fourteen crosses are required, to which it is customary to add fourteen pictures or images, which represent the stations of Jerusalem.
According to the more common practice, the pious exercise consists of fourteen pious readings, to which some vocal prayers are added. However, nothing more is required than a pious meditation on the Passion and Death of the Lord, which need not be a particular consideration of the individual mysteries of the stations.
A movement from one station to the next is required.
But if the pious exercise is made publicly and if it is not possible for all taking part to go in an orderly way from station to station, it suffices if at least the one conducting the exercise goes from station to station, the others remaining in their place.
Those who are "impeded" can gain the same indulgence, if they spend at least one half an hour in pious reading and meditation on the Passion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ.
For those belonging to Oriental rites, amongst whom this pious exercise is not practiced, the respective Patriarchs can determine some other pious exercise in memory of the Passion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ for the gaining of this indulgence.
The Stations of the Cross
1. Jesus is condemned to death
2. Jesus bears his cross
3. Jesus falls the first time
4. Jesus meets his mother
5. Jesus is helped by Simon
6. Veronica wipes the face of Jesus
7. Jesus falls a second time
8. Jesus speaks to the women
9. Jesus falls a third time
10. Jesus is stripped of his garments
11. Jesus is nailed to the Cross
12. Jesus dies on the Cross
13. Jesus is taken down from the Cross
14. Jesus is placed in the tomb
No doubt, the Blessed Mother and the Apostles held the sites of our Lord's sorrowful passion in esteem. We might even think of the Blessed Virgin going to visit the places where she met Christ on the way to Calvary and even praying at the very hill of our redemption.
Early Christians in the Holy Land remained devoted to these various stations. The stairs and praetorium where Christ was tried by Pontius Pilate was well known as was the place of our Lord's Crucifixion and Resurrection. Pilgrims coming from the West desired to see these places and desired to know how Christ traveled from the place of His unjust condemnation to His Crucifixion - the Via Dolorosa or Via Sacra. The Stations of the Cross, then, have their origin in the actual locations in Jerusalem.
Pilgrims wishing to bring this moving devotion home with them. In the 400s, Saint Petronius erected a series of chapels dedicated to the important shrines of Jerusalem in Bologna, Italy. During the Crusades, when pilgrimages and travels to the Holy Land resumed, there was a renewed interest among Europeans in the Via Sacra. By the 11th century, pilgrims had popularized the devotion. The Franciscans, who were granted administration of the Christian holy places in Jerusalem in 1342, increased its popularity.
In the 1400s, the Stations of the Cross became extremely popular in Europe; however, they were usually an series of outdoor shrines.
In 1686, Pope Innocent XI granted to the Franciscans the right to erect Stations of the Cross within their churches. It was only as late as 1862 that the right erect the Stations of the Cross without a Franciscan was extended to bishops throughout the Catholic Church.
Today, the faithful receive a plenary indulgence (with the usual conditions) for making the Stations of the Cross. You can find the exact details from the official Enchiridion below.
63. Exercise of the Way of the Cross (Viae Crucis exercitium)
A plenary indulgence is granted to the faithful, who make the pious exercise of the Way of the Cross.
In the pious exercise of the Way of the Cross we recall anew the sufferings, which the divine Redeemer endured, while going from the praetorium of Pilate, where he was condemned to death, to the mount of Calvary, where he died on the cross for our salvation.
The gaining of the plenary indulgence is regulated by the following norms:
The pious exercise must be made before stations of the Way of the Cross legitimately erected.
For the erection of the Way of the Cross fourteen crosses are required, to which it is customary to add fourteen pictures or images, which represent the stations of Jerusalem.
According to the more common practice, the pious exercise consists of fourteen pious readings, to which some vocal prayers are added. However, nothing more is required than a pious meditation on the Passion and Death of the Lord, which need not be a particular consideration of the individual mysteries of the stations.
A movement from one station to the next is required.
But if the pious exercise is made publicly and if it is not possible for all taking part to go in an orderly way from station to station, it suffices if at least the one conducting the exercise goes from station to station, the others remaining in their place.
Those who are "impeded" can gain the same indulgence, if they spend at least one half an hour in pious reading and meditation on the Passion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ.
For those belonging to Oriental rites, amongst whom this pious exercise is not practiced, the respective Patriarchs can determine some other pious exercise in memory of the Passion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ for the gaining of this indulgence.
The Stations of the Cross
1. Jesus is condemned to death
2. Jesus bears his cross
3. Jesus falls the first time
4. Jesus meets his mother
5. Jesus is helped by Simon
6. Veronica wipes the face of Jesus
7. Jesus falls a second time
8. Jesus speaks to the women
9. Jesus falls a third time
10. Jesus is stripped of his garments
11. Jesus is nailed to the Cross
12. Jesus dies on the Cross
13. Jesus is taken down from the Cross
14. Jesus is placed in the tomb
New Evangelization: How to grow a parish
Thin Veil interview with Monsignor Charles Pope
What if your pastor stood up next Sunday and said he wanted to double the size of the parish within one year? That's exactly what happened at Holy Comforter-St. Cyprian Catholic parish in Washington DC, a predominantly African-American parish. Monsignor Charles Pope made that bold challenge last September and then got to work.
He trained forty parishioners to evangelize door-to-door, had another forty stay at the church and pray, and then asked forty more to cook meals for everyone upon their return. The whole program was a success. They visited more than 1,500 homes and drew many people back to the church.
Msgr. Pope is known for more than his parish work, though. His popular blog at the Archdiocese of Washington website is read across the world and his dynamic preaching inspires countless others.
Msgr. Pope recently sat down with me to talk about blogging, preaching, evangelization, and the unique experiences of serving in an African-American Catholic parish. Watch, stream, or download the interview below:
Excerpt
Q: Why is blogging so valuable?
The main advantage is that people speak candidly. They share ideas. They feel free to share conversations among themselves and me. Of course the downside is that people can get a little harsh when we're not actually in person with somebody, and they sometimes write things that are harsh or more critical than necessary. But even that is rare.
"One great tragedy is how little many Catholics expect of their faith--and from their relationship with Jesus Christ...Many people put more faith in Tylenol than they do in the Eucharist." - Msgr. Charles Pope
Be sure to follow Msgr. Pope through the Archdiocese of Washington blog.
What if your pastor stood up next Sunday and said he wanted to double the size of the parish within one year? That's exactly what happened at Holy Comforter-St. Cyprian Catholic parish in Washington DC, a predominantly African-American parish. Monsignor Charles Pope made that bold challenge last September and then got to work.
He trained forty parishioners to evangelize door-to-door, had another forty stay at the church and pray, and then asked forty more to cook meals for everyone upon their return. The whole program was a success. They visited more than 1,500 homes and drew many people back to the church.
Msgr. Pope is known for more than his parish work, though. His popular blog at the Archdiocese of Washington website is read across the world and his dynamic preaching inspires countless others.
Msgr. Pope recently sat down with me to talk about blogging, preaching, evangelization, and the unique experiences of serving in an African-American Catholic parish. Watch, stream, or download the interview below:
Excerpt
Q: Why is blogging so valuable?
The main advantage is that people speak candidly. They share ideas. They feel free to share conversations among themselves and me. Of course the downside is that people can get a little harsh when we're not actually in person with somebody, and they sometimes write things that are harsh or more critical than necessary. But even that is rare.
"One great tragedy is how little many Catholics expect of their faith--and from their relationship with Jesus Christ...Many people put more faith in Tylenol than they do in the Eucharist." - Msgr. Charles Pope
Be sure to follow Msgr. Pope through the Archdiocese of Washington blog.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Saint Joseph, pray for us
Grant,
we pray, almighty God,
that by Saint Joseph’s intercession
your Church may constantly watch over
the unfolding of the mysteries of human salvation,
whose beginnings you entrusted to his faithful care.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.
– Amen.
we pray, almighty God,
that by Saint Joseph’s intercession
your Church may constantly watch over
the unfolding of the mysteries of human salvation,
whose beginnings you entrusted to his faithful care.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.
– Amen.
Duck funny
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.
The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green. But little Johnny, who always does things HIS way, colored the duck a bright fire.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him: "Johnny, how many times have you seen a red duck?"
Young Johnny replied with "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."
[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]
today'sTHOT============================
One-seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Sunday, March 18, 2012
How Down Syndrome Changed Our Lives…For The Better
Noah's Dad.com
Noah’s Birth Story: How Down Syndrome Changed Our Lives…For The Better
I’ll never forget the day I was sitting at our kitchen table talking on the phone to a friend when my wife comes running into the room, and saying,
“Rick….get off the phone.”
I quickly hung up the phone thinking something was wrong. No sooner than I can say “What’s wrong?” my wife shows me this plastic stick with two lines on it.
These two lines were going to change our life.
Forever!
We were having a baby…!
I was in disbelief! I was in shock! I was happy, joyful, excite….but most of all in love with this baby that was already growing at a rapid pace inside my wife’s tummy!
I couldn’t wait for this day to happen.
But it was happening….
….we were going to be parents…!!!
Read more...
Noah’s Birth Story: How Down Syndrome Changed Our Lives…For The Better
I’ll never forget the day I was sitting at our kitchen table talking on the phone to a friend when my wife comes running into the room, and saying,
“Rick….get off the phone.”
I quickly hung up the phone thinking something was wrong. No sooner than I can say “What’s wrong?” my wife shows me this plastic stick with two lines on it.
These two lines were going to change our life.
Forever!
We were having a baby…!
I was in disbelief! I was in shock! I was happy, joyful, excite….but most of all in love with this baby that was already growing at a rapid pace inside my wife’s tummy!
I couldn’t wait for this day to happen.
But it was happening….
….we were going to be parents…!!!
Read more...
Friday, March 16, 2012
CHILDREN ARE QUICK
_________________________________
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
[forwarded by Saralee Perel]
today'sTHOT============================
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
____________________________________
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
[forwarded by Saralee Perel]
today'sTHOT============================
One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Quiz funny
QUIZ:
[Answers below]
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President's name in 1975?
9. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
ANSWERS:
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
Answer: Johnny of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest ; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President's name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...]
9. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow. [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
[forwarded by Jessica Turvey]
today'sTHOT============================
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
[Answers below]
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
8. What was the President's name in 1975?
9. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
ANSWERS:
1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?
Answer: Johnny of course
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat.
3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Answer: Mt. Everest ; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this are you?]
4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly
6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere
7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
8. What was the President's name in 1975?
Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ...]
9. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.
10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?
Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow. [Duh]
11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
[forwarded by Jessica Turvey]
today'sTHOT============================
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much as committees.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
Friday, March 9, 2012
Brain Study....
Brain Study....
I got the hang of it...I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers.
Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:
7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.
I got the hang of it...I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers.
Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:
7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.
PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15.
LAST DANCE AT THE BUS BAR
A wonderful sentimental story by W. Bruce Cameron
When my son was a toddler, he used to love riding in his car seat because it gave him a stable platform from which to pitch things at the back of my head. His giggly joy when he managed to nail me with a soggy chunk of Pop Tart was so full of delight I couldn't find it in my heart to get mad at him, though I hated it when my boss would interrupt a meeting to ask me if I realized I had pastry crumbs in my hair.
When he wasn't filling the air with projectiles he would be singing out landmarks as we passed them. "Bus Bar!" he always cried when we drove by the outbuilding where the county kept the school busses corralled�the "bus barn." In the summer the busses baked under the sun like large beasts napping in a field, but during the school year the busses were sometimes out on their rounds, inspiring a conversation like this:
"No bus Daddy?"
"No, no busses today."
"No bus?"
"No bus."
"No bus?"
"No bus."
"No bus?"
"Okay, fine. Yes. Yes, there was a bus."
"No bus?"
I'm not sure when it was decided that it was no longer necessary for him to be strapped into a child safety seat whenever we went for a car ride, though I am fairly certain it was before he got his driver's license. And I don't remember the last time he thought the lack of busses at the bus barn was a topic worthy of debate.
What I do remember is the last time he held my hand. We were downtown on a crisp fall afternoon, navigating on foot through the impatient rush-hour traffic on our way to the bookstore. This is a kid who grew up in the mountains and who had always regarded automobiles as solitary hunters; confronted with so many of them on the prowl at once, their tires barking angrily at stoplights, he became very nervous. He might have been aged eight, then certainly old enough that my instinctive, parental reach for him whenever we crossed a street was always shaken off with a shrug of annoyance. But the very real danger posed by all that hurtling metal caused him to seek reassurance, and I felt his hand curl up into mine as we stepped off the curb.
It was the size of it that struck me, how much his fist had grown since the last time I'd held it. That, in turn, led me to reflect on the fact that we just didn't hold hands any more.
Safely across the street, he released me, and we left the episode un-remarked. For me, though, it was a rare milestone in the otherwise shockingly swift transformation of my little boy into man.
Parents are not often afforded the opportunity to specifically remember and treasure the last time our kids perform some childlike act. I can't recall the final bedtime story I read my children, or the last time any of them needed to be carried anywhere. I didn't notice when it was no longer necessary for me to kiss every one of their dolls goodnight when I tucked my daughters in, or even the last time I tucked them in. There's no warning that a treasured ritual is having its curtain call; if there were, perhaps we'd do something special to record the occasion, in memory if not on paper or video tape, so that maybe we could relive that precious moment.
Nowadays whenever I pass the bus barn and the yellow behemoths are out on their routes, I note it for the record. "No busses," I murmur, even if I am by myself. If my son is in the car with me he gives me a bland look, registering my observation but clearly feeling the matter doesn't call for further conversation. He doesn't remember.
But I do remember, just as clearly as I can remember the wet smack of a partially chewed pop tart catching me behind the right ear, and the last time he held my hand, crossing a busy street on an autumn afternoon.
-----------------
From The Cameron Column, a free Internet newsletter:
http://www.wbrucecameron.com/
Copyright W. Bruce Cameron 2012. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
Bruce's latest book is the New York Times best-selling novel "A Dog's Purpose":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0765326264/ref=nosim/mikeysfunnies-20
He is also the author of these recommended books:
"8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0761126333/ref=nosim/mikeysfunnies-20
"8 Simple Rules for Marrying My Daughter: And Other Reasonable Advice from the Father of the Bride (Not that Anyone is Paying Attention)":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1416558918/ref=nosim/mikeysfunnies-20
"How to Remodel a Man: Tips and Techniques on Accomplishing Something You Know Is Impossible but Want to Try Anyway":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/031233317X/ref=nosim/mikeysfunnies-20
today'sTHOT============================
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day watching waves go by.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
When my son was a toddler, he used to love riding in his car seat because it gave him a stable platform from which to pitch things at the back of my head. His giggly joy when he managed to nail me with a soggy chunk of Pop Tart was so full of delight I couldn't find it in my heart to get mad at him, though I hated it when my boss would interrupt a meeting to ask me if I realized I had pastry crumbs in my hair.
When he wasn't filling the air with projectiles he would be singing out landmarks as we passed them. "Bus Bar!" he always cried when we drove by the outbuilding where the county kept the school busses corralled�the "bus barn." In the summer the busses baked under the sun like large beasts napping in a field, but during the school year the busses were sometimes out on their rounds, inspiring a conversation like this:
"No bus Daddy?"
"No, no busses today."
"No bus?"
"No bus."
"No bus?"
"No bus."
"No bus?"
"Okay, fine. Yes. Yes, there was a bus."
"No bus?"
I'm not sure when it was decided that it was no longer necessary for him to be strapped into a child safety seat whenever we went for a car ride, though I am fairly certain it was before he got his driver's license. And I don't remember the last time he thought the lack of busses at the bus barn was a topic worthy of debate.
What I do remember is the last time he held my hand. We were downtown on a crisp fall afternoon, navigating on foot through the impatient rush-hour traffic on our way to the bookstore. This is a kid who grew up in the mountains and who had always regarded automobiles as solitary hunters; confronted with so many of them on the prowl at once, their tires barking angrily at stoplights, he became very nervous. He might have been aged eight, then certainly old enough that my instinctive, parental reach for him whenever we crossed a street was always shaken off with a shrug of annoyance. But the very real danger posed by all that hurtling metal caused him to seek reassurance, and I felt his hand curl up into mine as we stepped off the curb.
It was the size of it that struck me, how much his fist had grown since the last time I'd held it. That, in turn, led me to reflect on the fact that we just didn't hold hands any more.
Safely across the street, he released me, and we left the episode un-remarked. For me, though, it was a rare milestone in the otherwise shockingly swift transformation of my little boy into man.
Parents are not often afforded the opportunity to specifically remember and treasure the last time our kids perform some childlike act. I can't recall the final bedtime story I read my children, or the last time any of them needed to be carried anywhere. I didn't notice when it was no longer necessary for me to kiss every one of their dolls goodnight when I tucked my daughters in, or even the last time I tucked them in. There's no warning that a treasured ritual is having its curtain call; if there were, perhaps we'd do something special to record the occasion, in memory if not on paper or video tape, so that maybe we could relive that precious moment.
Nowadays whenever I pass the bus barn and the yellow behemoths are out on their routes, I note it for the record. "No busses," I murmur, even if I am by myself. If my son is in the car with me he gives me a bland look, registering my observation but clearly feeling the matter doesn't call for further conversation. He doesn't remember.
But I do remember, just as clearly as I can remember the wet smack of a partially chewed pop tart catching me behind the right ear, and the last time he held my hand, crossing a busy street on an autumn afternoon.
-----------------
From The Cameron Column, a free Internet newsletter:
http://www.wbrucecameron.com/
Copyright W. Bruce Cameron 2012. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.
Bruce's latest book is the New York Times best-selling novel "A Dog's Purpose":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0765326264/ref=nosim/mikeysfunnies-20
He is also the author of these recommended books:
"8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0761126333/ref=nosim/mikeysfunnies-20
"8 Simple Rules for Marrying My Daughter: And Other Reasonable Advice from the Father of the Bride (Not that Anyone is Paying Attention)":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1416558918/ref=nosim/mikeysfunnies-20
"How to Remodel a Man: Tips and Techniques on Accomplishing Something You Know Is Impossible but Want to Try Anyway":
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/031233317X/ref=nosim/mikeysfunnies-20
today'sTHOT============================
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day watching waves go by.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
A little league game funny
During a game, the coach asked one of his young players: "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"Do you understand that what matters is winning together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you are out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"
Again, the boy nodded yes.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your mother."
[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]
today'sTHOT============================
One man's red tape is another man's system.
=======================================
PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com
===============================
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