Prayers Requested: Passing of Helen Phelps

It is with a heavy heart and great sadness that I inform you of the death of Helen Phelps, wife of Deacon Stephan Phelps. Helen passed away in her sleep Friday night. Her death was very unexpected. An autopsy on Saturday revealed a rare form of cancer that had gone undetected. The cancer was very aggresive and had attacked most of her major organs.

Arrangements are pending. Deacon Stephan is a judge at the Archdiocese of Louisville Tribunal and serves at the Cathedral of the Assumption.

Please keep Deacon Stephan and all their family in your prayers.

We pray for Helen's eternal rest and joy in the fullness of the Kingdom.

Location:Louisville, KY, USA

There Is Meaning In Every Journey...

Location:Louisville, KY, USA

Little Drummer Boy by Pentatonix

Pentatonix, an a cappella music group consisting of five members, posted a cover of “Little Drummer Boy” on YouTube on Nov. 25. In less than a week, it has become a viral sensation.

Since uploading the music video to YouTube, the song has enjoyed nearly fifteen million views. You can download the group’s Christmas album on iTunes.

Hold Us Together!

11/22/63 • One Of The Saddest Days Ever!

Middle Schoolers Teach All Of Us A Lesson

While the NFL is dealing with the issue of bullying in the Miami Dolphins locker room, a middle school football team in Michigan has a deeper understanding of the game that pros may never reach.

The Olivet Eagles football team at Olivet Middle School in Olivet, Michigan, decided to run a play and intentionally not score, all without their coaches knowing.

The football team planned the play for weeks, all so they could set up a very special moment for a special boy.

Keith Orr is a special needs child, and his buddies on the football team decided to give him the chance to run for a touchdown.

Sheridan Hedrick, a player on the team, would’ve easily scored a touchdown, but he instead took a knee on the 1-yard line, much to the dismay of the crowd.

That was until the next play happened: the “Keith Special.”

The ball was hiked and immediately handed to Keith, who ran forward as his teammates protected him from the oncoming defense. Keith scored without a scratch.

The boys did much more than help Keith score a touchdown; they brought a community together.

“Yes I’m excited and happy that he made a touchdown, but what have these boys showed this community? That’s what gets to me,” said Keith’s mother, Carrie Orr, to WILX. “They’ve got his back. And he knows it.”

We can all learn a lot from the boys on the Olivet Eagles, as they have shown a certain sense of humility and understanding many of us adults struggle with.

The Ohio State Marching Band Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson

No doubt about it..."The Best Damn Band in the Land".

Father O'Malley and the donkey

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this: "Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at Saint Ann's Catholic Church. There's a donkey lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing
the Irish accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a moment, then Father O'Malley replied: "Aye,' tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."




























































































- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

We Are The Forgotten Ones

We are the forgotten ones, the overlooked and under-appreciated. Though they try to break us and separate us by class, gender, and cash, we stand strong together. To the voiceless, we gave a voice. We did not wait until they told us it was ok to speak, until we had permission to be unique. Each sign is a direct quote from those who are considered the unpopular and the unwanted. We are not defined by the hate in other's hearts. Immigrants, outcasts, the broken, but not bad, we are Cooper High.

Be The Light!

You are the light of the world—
like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.
No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket.
Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand,
where it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see,
so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.
– Matthew 5:14

IOS 7 brings child to tears!

Actually, I like it.

Robin Roberts' Journey: My First Birthday

Robin Roberts' Journey: My First Birthday, Bone Marrow Transplant, cancer survivor.

Michael Strahan learned when I was first diagnosed with MDS that many in the transplant community consider the anniversary of their bone marrow transplant to be their new birthday. Well, I'm ecstatic to share with you all that I turn one year old today! It's been exactly one year to the day since my blessed big sister, Sally-Ann, gave me the life-saving gift of a bone marrow transplant.

Unlike my first first birthday -- which of course I don't remember -- this time around I know I will never forget all the people who have reached out to me over the past year. Your words of encouragement, smiling faces, and prayers have carried me through the toughest times. I know that I would not have made it to this milestone without you.

My Momma always said, "Everybody's got something." We all have battles we face or demons we struggle with or challenges to overcome. I feel so blessed to have been able to share my journey and my battle with all of you. It's humbling to hear that it has inspired many of you to tackle whatever adversity you face in your own lives. When fear knocks, let faith answer the door.

That is my birthday wish... that you all find the strength within yourselves to push forward and have people in your lives who will be there to love you through it. That is what I will wish for when I close my eyes and blow out my birthday candles. Or rather, candle.

Light Love Power Presence...and blessings to all. XO

A Hamster Funny

A mangy looking guy who goes into a restaurant and orders food. The waiter says, "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."

The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me the food?"

"Deal!" replies the waiter.

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the counter and it runs to the end, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard, and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.

The waiter says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano."

The guy downs the hamburger he ordered and asks the waiter for another. "Money or another miracle," says the waiter.

The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the counter, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the counter runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog. The guy says, "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the restaurant.

The waiter says to the guy, "Are you crazy? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions."

"Not so", says the guy, "the hamster is also a ventriloquist."

today'sTHOT============================

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

Florida Coach Gives One-handed Hoops Player an Offer

One-handed basketball player Zach Hodskins joins "SportsCenter" to talk about defying the odds and getting offered a roster spot by Florida coach Billy Donovan.
Go Gators!

Guinness Advert: Friendship

A coach funny

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.

So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him an idiot or blind. Do you understand all that?" The little boy nodded yes again.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play too, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach stupid is it?" The little boy shook his head NO.

"GOOD," said the coach, "Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother."

Nun runs out of gas funny

There was a nun who worked as a nurse at a local hospital.

She was driving the hospital van when it ran out of gas about a mile from a gas station, so she decided to walk to the gas station to get some gas, but the station didn't have a gas can for her to transport the gas back to the van.

She walked back to the van, trying to figure out what to do when she realized that she had some bed pans in the van that she could use. So, she got a bed pan and walked back to the gas station, filled it up and walked back to the van.

As she was pouring the gas into the tank, two men in a truck drove by. One said to the other, "Man, if that works, I'm turning Catholic!"

Video: Mandisa sings "Overcomer" with Robin Roberts & others

White Sox Catcher: "I love to pray rosaries"

From Catholic Vote

Meet Tyler Flowers, catcher for the Chicago White Sox.

In a recent interview with the Catholic New World, the newspaper of the Archdiocese of Chicago, the major league baseball player spoke about his devotion to the Blessed Mother.

I love to pray rosaries, which are very Christ-centered. In fact, Jesus’ name is literally at the center of the Hail Mary. It’s been said that praying the rosary is learning about Jesus at the school of Mary.

When you consider what Jesus said about becoming like a little child in order to enter the kingdom of heaven, it’s easy to see the importance of placing ourselves at the feet of our spiritual mother, Mary.

Everyone knows it’s perfectly normal to see a child with his mother in the natural order, but the same is also true in the spiritual order: Children of God the Father need a mother, and they have one in Mary. When you become more devoted to Mary, you will inevitably become more devoted to Jesus in the Eucharist.

Wow.

When’s the last time you heard a professional athlete talk like that?

Read entire interview from Catholic New World here...

h/t Father Paul Beach

A thumb funny

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.

Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."

Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The 4-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying, "Uh-oh...I know what *you've* been doing."

today'sTHOT============================

Twitter lets you follow total strangers without getting in trouble.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

"What did the doctor say?" Funny

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die. "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. "Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly. "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?" "He said you're going to die," she replied.

A Keys Funny

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down.

I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets.

A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My husband has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.

His theory is that the car will be stolen.

As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.

His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; ( I always call him "honey" in times like these.) I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.

"Are you kidding' me???" he barked , "I dropped you off!!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."

He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop I didn't steal your car."

[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]

today'sTHOT============================

Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save the animals, why are you eating their food?

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

What Cancer Cannot Do!

Former Flaget, Kentucky and Miami Dolphins quarterback Rick Norton dies at 69

Rick Norton, a Flaget High School and University of Kentucky great who later played quarterback for the Miami Dolphins during their inaugural season in 1966, died Thursday in Louisville. He was 69.

John Norton said his brother had battled heart disease and died of natural causes.

Rick Norton was a first-team All-State selection by The Courier-Journal in 1961 as a senior at Flaget. Coach Paulie Miller called him “the best passer in the United States.”

He played three seasons (1963-65) at UK and was a team co-captain as a senior, when the Wildcats finished 6-4. He was named a first-team All-American by Time Magazine and NBC.

In 1966 he was drafted by both professional leagues, choosing the AFL’s Dolphins over the NFL’s Cleveland Browns. He played in 31 games over four seasons (1966-69) for the Dolphins, starting 11 of them. He played in one game for the Green Bay Packers in 1970 before retiring from football.

John Norton said his brother later worked in construction in Lexington before taking jobs in state government. He worked for Kentucky State Parks and also was executive director of the Kentucky State Racing Commission during Gov. Martha Layne Collins’ tenure from 1983-87.

He is survived by a son, Rick Jr., and two daughters, Stacey and Cindy. Funeral arrangements are pending.

The Lost Graveside Guitarist

After three funerals last week, I needed a little humor, even if it's graveside humor. Have a great week, Deacon Gerry

As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost…



h/t Shannon Age and Julie Fagan

Happy 4th of July ~ God Bless America!

RIP: 19 Prescott, AZ Firefighters

The Deck of Cards

A Veterans tribute with just a pack of cards and a beautiful ending.



h/t Barbara Harbolt

It's A Beautiful Day-India Arie

People Are Awesome 2013

Cold Cream Funny

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

A Father Song by Brianna Haynes

25 Things I Learned From My Dad

Life is a mystery. Don't try to figure it out, just enjoy it.

Often times, the quietest person in a group is the most interesting one.

Turn off the lights when you leave a room.

If you watch ants in a colony, you'll have answers to how humans can live cooperatively and peacefully.

It's easier start a war than it is to end it.

Laughter cures almost anything.

Fancy houses and new cars don't make the man or the woman.

Be on time.

Practice moderation in all things.

It's possible for plaids and checks to look good together.

Don't buy on credit.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Tolerate differences in all people.

Reading history can help us avoid mistakes.

Life is a circle. Just as space is curved, so is time. There is no beginning or end.

Always get a name when dealing with someone over the phone.

Loveable people are easy to love; it's the unloveable ones who need our love.

Never trust a turn signal.

It takes twice as long to do something wrong.

Ping Pong is a competitive sport.

Never litter.

Traveling is the best education.

Get along with your neighbors.

The Golden Rule is the only one that you have to remember.

Leave the world better than you found it.

h/t Elizabeth Schaff, Louisville

Happy Father's Day - "Dad Life"

Dentist Funny

One day, a man walks into a dentist's office and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. "One Thousand Dollars," the dentist says.

"That's a ridiculous amount," the man says. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist says, "if you don't use an aesthetic, I can knock the price down to $700." Looking annoyed the man says, "That's still too expensive!"

"Okay," says the dentist. "If I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to $400." "Nope," moans the man, "it's still too much."

"Well," says the dentist, scratching his head, "if I let one of my students do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to $100." "Marvelous," says the man, "book my wife for next Tuesday!"

A Gossip Funny

The church gossip, and self-appointed arbiter of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several church members were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being drunk after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She commented to George on a Sunday morning, in the company of many, that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny; he said nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of her house and left it there all night.

today'sTHOT============================

NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

Life is a reflection of intent

REFLECTIONS ON AGING

~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

~ Long ago when old men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

today'sTHOT============================

Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

As we work to create light for others...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Grant That I May Radiate Thy Light, Thy Love, Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace...

Prayers Requested: R.I.P Police K-9 Officer Jason Ellis

This is a story of how this Hero LIVED
Bardstown Police Department, Kentucky
Police K-9 Officer Jason Ellis
End Of Watch: 05-25-13



K9 Officer Jason Ellis, 33, was shot and killed In The Line Of Duty early this morning (details below). Born with a soul that has courage to wear the badge, K-9 Ofc. Ellis had been Saving, Serving, and Protecting since 2005. Our Brother was a shining example of what we should continue to aspire and strive to be. Everything about him, and all he did, exemplified Honor, Integrity, and Loyalty to his oath and to the badge he wore. With his 'armor' polished inside and out, his fellow Officers loved Brother Jason and looked up to him.

He was a fearless Warrior who never backed down in the face of danger and worked diligently to get to the truths that led to justice. But it was his fairness and his unbiased approach to all situations that truly stood out. Always knowing that not everything was as it initially appears to be, Ofc. Ellis took his time in assessing, and then took appropriate actions, always with the safety of his fellow Officers, the People, and himself as a priority. With his courage and with his compassion, Ofc. Ellis dressed each day for work looking forward to what each new day would bring, ready to do whatever he could to Serve and Protect the citizens of his community.

Assigned as the agency's K-9 Officer, as well as a Field Training Officer, Brother Jason took great pride in knowing how integral his duties were and he did it all with a smile and positive attitude. In just 8 years of service, Ofc. Ellis had already racked up numerous awards, commendations, and citations, including Bardstown PD Officer Of The Year in 2008 and the Governor's Award for Impaired Driving Enforcement 2007 and 2008.

Jason was a character when able to let his guard down for those fleeting moments during his tour. No matter how bad a day was going for someone, Ofc. Ellis was able to lighten the mood by finding something positive through anything and was known for his amazing fun-loving sense of humor. Jason loved his community that he worked, often stopping in on local business simply to make sure they were okay but he also took time to get to know each employee and owner. He treated everyone as his personal friend. His respectfulness towards all garnered him much respect in return.

Brother Jason was one heck of a ballplayer too. In fact, he played for the Cincinnati Reds for three years on their minor league team. Jason used this talent to help his community. He was an active coach in youth sports and volunteered his time to help give our younger generation a chance to learn and grow with healthy and responsible choices in life. He simply wanted to make a difference in his small corner of the world ... and what a difference he did make ... and he did it all asking nothing in return.

Strong in his faith, he was rewarded in life with the woman of his dreams and a family. Jason married his college sweetheart and together, they had two sons. Two young boys who will now grow up with only the memories left behind. We must vow to ensure they know how much their daddy was loved and how he truly Lived As Only As Hero Could. This Brave and Benevolent Son, Husband, Father, and Brother Of Blue will be incredibly missed by so very many ... so few will forget the day he was taken from us all too soon ...

At 0253hours, a calls came in from motorists who found a Police Cruiser on the exit ramp of the Parkway with it's lights activated but no sign of activity. A few citizens stopped their cars out of concern. 'That eerie feeling that something was wrong'. Upon further approach, they found Ofc. Ellis outside of his vehicle laying on the ground. When the Kentucky State Police arrived, they found Police Officer Jason Ellis laying on the side of the road, shot to death.

Since Jason was driving a 'pool vehicle' from the PD after his shift ended and not his assigned cruiser, there is no video of what transpired. None of the witnesses are suspect. Preliminary findings suggest Ofc. Ellis exited his cruiser to assist a motorist though no radio call was sent to dispatchers. The Kentucky State Police are lead investigators of this Homicide and we will update as more is learned. Jason's K9 was not with him at the time.

Jason leaves behind his beloved bride, two young sons and K9 partner. Our heartfelt thoughts and prayers go out to the entire Ellis family, the Men and Women of the Bardstown PD, the Kentucky SP, and to all whom have had the pleasure and the privilege of knowing and working along side this True Blue Hero. Special thoughts and prayers are with all the children and young adults that our Brother worked so closely with. This is the first Line Of Duty death for the Bardstown PD. Let us all make sure they all get any assistance they need.

Our Brother, as you now patrol the streets of Heaven may you continue your vigilant watch over us all as we carry on in the battles to come ... In Our Brother's Honor. We thank you for your service and for your sacrifice. We thank you for your life. Job Well Done Sir.

Rest In Peace Police K-9 Officer Jason Ellis ... We Have The Watch From Here. SALUTE!

Zach Sobiech: "You don’t have to find out you’re dying to start living"

Who is Zach Sobiech? Maybe you heard his story already. But I felt compelled to share it after reading about Zach's death over on eyes peeled,always

His doctors had given Zach a year to live, and he made the decision that he wanted to spend that time with the people that he loved, at home, doing what he loved, which was songwriting and music. His song, “Clouds,” is a bit of a farewell, written knowing that the time he had left was short. Though what he sings about is tragically sad, its upbeat tone and positive lyrical spin demonstrate his zest and appreciation for life, as well as his peace with his impending death.

For anyone to reach that awareness is a beautiful gift, for it to happen for such a young man, even more so. His music video for "Clouds" went viral and a tribute was made back to him with several celebrities who were moved by his story and were filmed singing his song. This humble young man made it known that the solution to happiness really is so simple.



This evening I watched a documentary about him,"My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech," Actor/comedian Rainn Wilson was moved by Zach’s story, and created the short documentary about Zach on his YouTube channel, SoulPancake.

It is more than worth the 22-minute watch. Settle in and your life will be changed. Listen to what he has to say. It is hard to watch the video because many of us are able to relate to it on many different levels. He is gone far too young. But it also a joy to watch because he lived such a full life that he could be proud of, and at peace with, in spite of dying from disease. As they say at the end of the film, he touched so many lives not because he was dying, but because of the way he lived. That is beautiful lesson and something we all should aspire to every day.



After battling osteosarcoma from the age of 14. Tragically, Zach succumbed to cancer this week on May 20, 2013 at the age of 18. His hope: “I wanna be remembered as a kid who went down fighting – I didn’t really lose.”

Zach's funeral was held on Thursday, May 23, and hundreds gathered to celebrate his life.. His memory, and mission to help find a cure for childhood cancer, lives on through his inspirational song, "Clouds." According to the Minnesota newspaper Pioneer Press, 1,200 people attended Sobiech's funeral at the Church of St. Michael in Stillwater, Minn. Outside, the church was decorated with balloons that had Sobiech's "up, up, up" lyrics written on the front

The Sobiech family started the Zach Sobiech Osteosarcoma Fund to support research of this rare disease.

Zach touched the hearts of millions and spread joy wherever he went. Through his music, his actions and his simple words, he’s is leaving the world a powerful, resounding message:

“You don’t have to find out you’re dying to start living.”

SoulPancake created a celebrity music video , featuring stars Bryan Cranston, Sarah Silverman, Jenna Elfman, Jason Mraz and Ashley Tisdale, all singing along to Zach's song "Clouds".



Thanks for the song and your spirit, Zach.

A Memorial Day Checklist

GOING TO THE GONE
A checklist for Memorial Day

by Greg Asimakoupoulos

Go look in on your children still asleep
within their bed.
Remind yourself they're safe and warm
because of some long dead.

Go for a walk through cemeteries
lined with little flags.
Take time to ponder homebound heroes
flown in body bags.

Go stand between those granite stones
engraved with names and dates.
Imagine all who died defending
our United States.

Go on and kneel beside a marker
offering a prayer
with gratitude for those who gave their lives
defeating terror.

Go home and count your blessings
from the hands of those now gone.
Then vow to the Almighty that their
mem'ry will live on.

-------------------

Also found on Greg's blog:
http://www.partialobserver.com/article.cfm?id=2941

Copyright 2008 Greg Asimakoupoulos. Permission is granted to send this to others, with attribution, but not for commercial purposes.

Greg's great book, "Rhymes & Reasons," is available at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1434841855/mikeysfunnies-20

today'sTHOT============================

The bravest thing you can do when you are not brave is to profess courage and act accordingly.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

A Vet Funny

When I worked as a medical intern in a local hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent.

It took me some time to understand that he had no insurance coverage.

One thing he had made clear was that he was a World War II veteran, so I had him transported to the Veteran's Administration hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.

The next day my patient was back, with a note from the VA: "Right war, wrong side."

[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]

today'sTHOT============================

Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

Prayers for the people of Moore, Oklahoma

Like many of you. Mary Jo and I have been watching the horrific pictures coming out of Moore, Oklahoma since this afternoon. Our hearts go out to those who lost loved ones. Life is such a precious gift. A single moment in time can change our lives forever. Give thanks and cherish every moment.

HUMOR TO SOOTHE THE SOUL: WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Brilliant answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms works at work and works at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. My mom says she don't do spare time.
2. Nothing. She pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

today'sTHOT============================

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

The time to relax is...

Life Is Too Important...

Air Force Pilot Funny

My husband works in the fuels squadron at an Air Force base, and many of his co-workers complain about the superior attitude of the pilots.

One day the fuel guys decided to put things in perspective for the proud pilots. They all came to work wearing shirts inscribed, "Without fuel, pilots are pedestrians."

[forwarded by Steve Sanderson]

today'sTHOT============================

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

Pitino Names Horse For Luke Hancock

Final Four MOP Luke Hancock has joined Russ Smith, Gorgui Deng and Peyton Siva as a Louisville player with an extra special place in coach Rick Pitino’s heart, for he too now has a Pitino-owned horse named after him.

“Three Point Luke is the name of the new horse we just bought,” Pitino explained during a Monday press conference with reporters in advance of Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, in which a horse he co-owns (Santa Anita Derby winner Goldencents) will run. “I actually didn’t name it. [Trainer] Dennis O’Neill named it.”

Among the four Pitino-owned horses named for players — Russdiculous (Smith), Gorgui (Deng), Siva (Siva) and Three Point Luke (Hancock) — Hancock can definitely lay claim to the best name. Or at least one that sounds most like a horse.

"42": My Favorite Line

I had the opportunity to see "42" tonight. Here's a clip with my favorite line when Pee Wee Reese, a boy from Kentucky, puts his arm around Jackie to assure him that he is with him in the face of Cincinnati Reds fans at old Crosley Field shouting racial epithets. "42" is great movie. Catch it, if you get a chance.

A "poor" funny

One day, a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on, and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."

[forwarded by Fayella Horn]

today'sTHOT============================

Money doesn't change you. It magnifies who you are.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

No man stands so tall...

A PLANNING FUNNY

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to get married so he could share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

[forwarded by Bob]

today'sTHOT============================

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man." I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

today'sTHOT============================

You have a choice: You can throw in the towel, or you can use it to wipe the sweat off of your face.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

A Flatulent Funny (this is your warning)

Once upon a time there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a beautiful girl and he fell madly in love with her. When it was apparent that they would marry he thought to himself, "She is such a sweet and lovely girl, she will never go for this carrying on." So he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up his beloved beans. They were married shortly thereafter.

Some months after his marriage, his car broke down on his way home from work. Since he and his wife lived in the country, he phoned her to say he wouldn't be home at his usual hour because he had to walk the rest of the way home.

On his way home he passed a small cafe and the odor of freshly baked beans was overwhelming. Since he still had several miles to walk, he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home, so he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving he ate three large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted and after arriving home, felt he had putt-putted his last.

His wife was somewhat agitated and excited to see him and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for dinner this evening." She then blindfolded him and led him to his seat at the head of the table. He sat down and just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She made him promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned. She left him to answer the phone. Seizing the opportunity, he shifted his weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud but as ripe as rotten eggs. He took his napkin and vigorously fanned the air around him. He felt another urge coming on, shifted to the other leg, and let go again. This was a prize winner! While keeping one ear on the phone conversation, he kept on for another ten minutes. Upon hearing the phone hang up, he placed his napkin in his lap, folded his hands on top of it and smiled contentedly to himself, the very picture of innocence.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked and he, of course, assured her that he hadn't. At this point she removed the blindfold and there was his surprise--twelve dinner guests seated around the table for a birthday party!

today'sTHOT============================

STAR TREK on Novocain: To poldly bow air mobius gumby four!

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

The Commonplace

You do have the power to make life joyful...

None Of Us Go It Alone

Being human, we are imperfect.
That's why we need each other.
To catch each other when we falter.
To encourage each other when we lose heart.
Some may lead; others may follow;
but none of us can go it alone.
- Hilary Clinton

A Kids Funny

Kids talk about astronomy:

~ When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.

~ Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.

Kids talk about Meteorology:

~ You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

~ I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.

~ It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.

[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

today'sTHOT============================

I've been reading a book all week called "Anti-Gravity"...I just can't put it down!

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

Patience...

Life's Too Short...

A Noun Funny

7-year-old Bethany was placing nouns under the correct heading in class. All the words were from a list.

The teacher came over and looked at her lists. There where five: Persons, Places, Things, Ideas, and ... Other?

The teacher asked Bethany, "Why are there five lists?"

Bethany answered, "Because my brother didn't fit any of the categories."

today'sTHOT============================

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

Cards Are Champs! Cut The Nets Down!

A Car Funny

A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car.
Pushed to the limit, the father asked his son why he thought God had given
him two feet.

Without hesitation, the son replied, "That's easy, one for the clutch and
one for the accelerator."

[forwarded by John Jaeger]

today'sTHOT============================

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any
time.

=======================================


PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

GREATNESS

A husband to the store funny

A wife asked her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me? Buy one carton of milk. And, if they have avocados, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy SIX cartons of milk?"

He replied, "Because they DID have avocados!”

[forwarded by Ted Bouchette]

today'sTHOT============================

People who throw kisses are mighty hopelessly lazy.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

The National Pastime in the National Archives

Baseball: The National Pastime in the National Archives by Prologue Magazine

BIG BLUE NATION IS PRAYING FOR KW5

Easter Bunny Funny

Last week a little girl came home from school and approached her mother: "Mom, some of the kids at school today said that you were the Easter Bunny. Is that true?"

The mom kneeled down by her daughter and said, "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes" the girl replied.

The mother sighed, thinking of the end of the innocence of childhood, "Yes, dear, I am the Easter Bunny."

The little girl looked at her in amazement, "How do you get to ALL of those houses???"

[forwarded by Katy]

today'sTHOT============================

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow...

Hang In There!

UofL Announcer: Trying to describe things you've never seen before

From University of Louisville announcer, Bob Valvano's FB page:

Okay violating my self imposed Facebook abstinence here just one time before June 1, but I hope you will understand...

Today was that exceptional...

I have broadcast games for 17 years, 12 on radio with Paul Rogers for the University of Louisville games. Only one other time, of a much more personal nature, was I moved to tears on the air. In Albeuquerque, the same site as my brother Jim's national championship, Louisville came from 20 points down in an Elite Eight game to go to Rick Pitino's first Final Four with the Cards. For various reasons, including a tremendously generous gesture by then assistant coach Kevin Willard, I was so moved...but that was more personal...

Today, Kevin Ware suffered one of the most gruesome injuries you'll see on basketball court, or anywhere. In the first half, he jumped to challenge a shot, simply landed wrong and his leg was grotesquely broken and twisted.
What followed was unlike anything I have seen at a game, coaching or broadcasting. Louisville players began crying on the court; a few vomited at the sight, as the injury was right in front of the bench. Duke players and Coach K were obviously moved as well...

Making it more surreal was how it happened. No one could see from the outer reaches of this vast arena what exactly occurred. Even our viewpoint, courtside right opposite Louisville's bench was difficult to see, but players on the court, who could see it in detail, started dropping to the court. Paul and I thought there might have been a collision we missed. A few broadcasters in the further points actually thought someone took a shot at the players; in this day of terrorism that may be sad, but not illogical.

Three players dropped to the court. Peyton Siva dropped to a knee to pray...clearly not business as usual...

As the time stretched on, it became apparent the injury was awful. In today's instant media,pictures were quickly transmitted. The players looked stunned, sad, bewildered...

Kevin Ware asked his teammates to gather around before going off on a stretcher and told them, "I will be fine. Now go out and win this game..." which only added to the emotional impact...

What transpired after halftime was almost overwhelming to witness. The emotion etched on the players' faces was unlike any I had ever seen at a game. I can't even describe it, truly...pain over their friend, effort to refocus on the game, determination to win, in many ways for Kevin Ware.

It seemed like little happened to make people forget the injury. As Louisville improbably pulled away to a 22 point win, the crowd started chanting "Ke-Vin, Ke-Vin..." The game ended without the Cards cutting the nets down, and Rick Pitino urging the crowd to honor Kevin by chanting again as he stood on the podium.

There was a play very late with the game essentially over, where Luke Hancock--who started the year so bumpily and was the subject of fans' wrath-- taking a leadership role, waving everyone away so he could create a shot for walk on Tim Henderson, who proceeded to nail a three point shot, and receive an exuberant hug from the normally stoic Hancock.

All game we saw that emotion from players who rarely show it. It is one of the times sitting courtside gives a vantage point I am not sure TV could capture...although I know many simply watching at home were moved to tears...

And so my broadcast partner was moved to tears as well...and I was unable to do much to help him...overwhelming...

It was incredible...and I thought about why? Players get hurt all the time...why was this so emotional?

Of course it was gruesome. That is undeniably a big part. But to watch the unique bond that is a team, and how much pain these kids had to play through, and how they rallied together...AND rallied to play for their fallen teammate...again, overwhelming...

I was moved at the emotion by the Duke players and coaches as well.That was a reminder again how blessed you are when the outcome of a game can be so important to you. It IS important; that's fine, but in moments like that you realize how fleeting it all can be and how it can all go away. Even young bullet proof players at that moment can't help but be reminded, "There but for the grace of God go I"...

It makes anyone watching feel the same about their own lives. How fragile it all can be; you must embrace the moments, pull those dear to you near, and don't waste the time you have with them...it all can go away so fast...

Yes, all that from basketball game. So I was very moved, and know I wasn't alone...

After the game I got a hug from Russ Smith who was devestated at the injury. I got to share a moment with Gorgei Dieng and Peyton Siva, emotional and spiritual leaders in many ways on this team. It is different, a bit subdued, but they are happy and proud, and maybe in many ways, more meaningful than just a usual post game congratulations...

I wander around for a bit, pass a closed training room and hear what sounds like a player laughing hysterically. I ask, "Is that someone laughing?". Somber subdued voices tell me, no those sounds are from one of the players crying, wailing, the sounds now gut wrenching as I realize what the reality actually is...

I won't mention the player's name, as i am not interested in violating his privacy, but i am reminded again...they're people, not X's and O's,and in so many meaningful ways, just kids at that.

Every once in a while the game transcends the sport, and the sport transcends itself, sending life lessons and creating human drama of the highest order.

Today was one of those days, and I was humbled to try and help Paul find the words to describe it on radio.

That's probably impossible, when you are asked to describe some things you've never seen before.

But I will never forget having the opportunity today, to try...

Hoping KW5 will be able to be on the sidelines in Cardlanta

Go Cards! Good Luck in the FInal Four!

The Blue Devils didn't have a chance

KW5 on the long road to recovery

Louisville guard Kevin Ware held the NCAA Regional Championship trophy Monday, flanked by coach Rick Pitino, left, and former Louisville assistant coach Richard Pitino. Ware broke his leg Sunday in the Midwest Regional final when he landed awkwardly, and he had surgery that night. He remained in an Indianapolis hospital on Monday, but he was able to move around on crutches. Kenny Klein — Associated Press/University of Louisville

Prayers for #5

Our hearts and prayers go out to Kevin Ware and his family.



GO CARDS!!!

The Promise of the Resurrection

FAQs about living a long life...

What appears below is a post from an NHL disussion group. Thanks to Greg Dafoe, Hamilton, Ontario

Greg: I am popping a chocolate Easter egg in my mouth as I type this (truly I am
actually doing that).

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q : Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
>
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and wellpreserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - 'WOO HOO! What a Ride!'"

Humor is mankind's great blessing ~ Mark Twain

Be The Melody...

EXPRESSING GRATITUDE

Little boy in the YMCA Funny

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.

When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

[forwarded by Beverly Davis]

today'sTHOT============================

My wife is going to the hair salon today. For the next few hours I'll be practicing my reaction.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

Forgive Yourself

Take time to play!

God grant me the serenity...

A DINNER PARTY FUNNY

A fellow hosted a dinner party for people from work and everyone was encouraged to bring their children.

All during dinner one co-worker's tiny daughter stared at the man sitting across from her.

The girl could hardly eat her food from staring.

The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her staring. He tried his best to just ignore her but finally it was too much for him. He asked her, "Sweetie, why are you staring at me?"

The table went quiet for her response.

The little girl said, "I just want to see how you drink like a fish!"

[forwarded by Gretchen Patti]

today'sTHOT============================

No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.

=======================================

PASS IT ON!
Yeah, you can send this Funny to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it! www.mikeysFunnies.com

===============================

GIVE THANKS FOR ALL OF LIFE!